Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas to All. And to All, a good night.

Merry Christmas to All.
Stay Warm, Stay Safe.
And may we be granted Peace on Earth.

On a lighter note, I've been elfed!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Clocky is Here!!

You thought I was joking perhaps?
Ney, on the topic of sleep and alarms, I am always quite in earnest.

And although it's about a month late, the fabled Clocky is finally here. An alarm clock that was a month late, how's that for ironic? But I must say, it looks better than the furry prototype that had been circulating the internet.

Although I'm a bit weary of its true usefulness, at $50 a pop, it would be enough of a deterrent to prevent me from tossing it over the side of my deck one frustrated morning.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Spot My Sister

Edit: Hmmmm... ... Could THAT be her???

Check out Ellen Degeneres show today, Wednesday.
My sister scored tickets to Day 10 of Ellen's 12 Days of Christmas Giveaways.
And I will tell you right now, the bitch scored!

XBOX 360
Six games, and 1 year of online membership
XM Radio, home kit, and 1 year of service
A collection of Superman DVD's (14 in total?)
AND a $200 Gift Certificate to

So jealous, but at the same time, a great score cuz its a giveaway her husband can totally share as can my brother and I!

She said the cameraman took a solo shot of her screaming, and trembling and crying. "I was milking it! Hands tremblng in front of my face. I laid it on thick. You and I have practiced it so many times, I figured I owed it to you."

You see, my sister and I have dreamed about getting tickets to Oprah's Favorite Things. I always say that once the gifts start flying I would scream and spaz out and hug my sister and just start punching her in the gut. She, in turn, would be in tears but whip out a giant mallet a la Wil E. Coyote and just start pounding away at me... ..... Ok, I guess you have to be there when we tell that story.

So, tell me when you think you've spotted my sister....

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Sending Christmas Cheer

It's all sort of coincedence but it so happens that I picked Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day last week for a little Holiday get-together with my friends. My caveat? Instead of presents, or cards, or paying for a pricey dinner together, I suggested we all bring supplies, and we would make care packages to send to our Marines in Iraq.

I had been feeling so melancholy and useless, particularly in the wake of James Kims death, I wanted all of us to do something outside of ourselves. And you know, making my Target run for goodies was fun! *La*La and I got socks, hats, snack bars, cards, dice, jr slinkies, jerky, chapstick, kool-aid, Emergen-C, and I even dug up a few Beanie Babies from my collection.

And I couldn't be more proud of everyone's efforts! Despite a few last minute no-shows, my friends pulled through with some awesome loot to send to the troops! I must also thank the US Postal Service for making the packaging process easy.. Call their 1-800# for a military kit all your own! (Priority Mail™ boxes, tape, labels, and customs forms.)

Look at all that stuff!

Here I am working hard. There's my Honey in the back reading. And before you think he's being uber studious, it's a book about Japanese Sex clubs...

This was my first time sending anything to a military address. I hope our packages make it into the hands of needy soldiers. But most of all, I hope our brave men and women just all come home safe.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Tears Today

So here I am. Sitting at my desk quietly crying.
I had hoped, along so many others, that the story would have a happy ending.
But searchers have found the body of James Kim...

Although their Church Street Apothecary is close to my home, I didn't know Kim or his family. Nevertheless, when I read the breaking news Monday night that the mother was found with their daughters, I sobbed out loud. And I hoped, with everyone else, that Poppa would be found.

We are all crushed, devasted.

Kati, Our prayers are with you. I wish there could be more I could offer...
Penelope, Sabine.... You will be proud one day when you understand how hard your Father fought to keep you safe. He's a hero.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Good and Good FOR You

I would be hardpressed to tell you the last time I attended a concert that didn't involve Justin Timberlake. .... .... Okay, stop laughing. No...., really, you can stop now. The fact is, I have taken myself out of the live music scene, local otherwise, for quite some time. Blame it on old age, blame it on plain ol' laziness. It became too much of a chore to seek out new acts, shell out $30+ dollars on someone I wasn't really sure I wanted to see live, the standing, the pushing, the inevitable funkified armpit that floated at by nose level, and I had just been disappointed one too many times.

But you know what? All those quibbles were wiped away last night when I rounded up a few of the usual suspects to join me for a night with Imogen Heap. Here's an artist that has stayed on fairly regular rotation on my iTunes, the Warfield theater was a familiar lowkey venue, and I could be fairly assured that there would no hardcore moshpit developing.

This was one of the most enjoyable musical nights out I have had in ages. I'm so bummed some of the gang couldn't make it; all I can say is, you missed a fantastic night. I now worship at the altar of Imogen. Although battling a cold, she soldiered on with a delightful show and won the whole audience over. She came out and introduced her own opening acts(who were impressive in their own right but more on them later) , who does that??? This classically trained pianist was beguiling and charming and I wanted to wear her frilly fushcia petticoats to work! She took time out to highlight the technical gizmos (parrot!) she would be using, she sipped her tea and blew her nose, she even had a Start Over(We shall blame it on forementioned Parrot)! I even wanted to bring her stage design home. .. Illuminated corsets and twinklng christmas lights???.... Give them to me Immy!

(Note here, Kid Beyond beatboxing the drum n bass track to the song. SICK.)

The best part of the evening though was actually arriving in time for the 2 opening nights. Usually, I'm a main event kind of gal.. but the acts Imogen invited to tour with her also happen to be a part of her band and they blew us away. Levi Weaver is a writer of clever melodic tunes along the lines of the new wave of solo balladeers, see Teddy Geiger. "I'm not better, I'm just bitter.".. You said it... Look him up, it's worth it. But the breakthrough of the night, and I'm of sure the tour, has got to be San Francisco's own, Kid Beyond. As Imogen so aptly put it, this man can do incredible things with his mouth. The beatboxer, singer, and live looper knocked us out with his charisma and high voltage talent last night. D just got up in the middle of the show, walked out to the lobby, and bought his CD on the spot for me. He is that mesmerizing. And when he breaks into Nine Inch Nails? You have just GOT to believe....

So all in all, a great night. DeYoung even found us some seats! And as we sat there taking in all the great musical vibes, he voiced something I think we were all feeling. There is nothing quite like Live Music. "It's good for the soul." ... That was never more true than last night. But oh how easy it is for me to forget. So here it is. .. another "note to self"; posted for all to see. Surprise my soul every now and then... There is nourishment to be had.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Space Time Continuum

I finally got around to treating myself to a chick flick last night.. The Lake House.
The one where Sandra Bullock is from the future, writing letters to Keanu Reeves who is from 2 years in the past. And somehow they fall in love. blah blah BLAH blah.

... I guess it was harmless enough. Two attractive people pining away for one another. Occasionally locking lips. But watching Keanu trying to emote is like watching me trying to ride a horse. Its best you just close your eyes, cringe, and hope for the best. .... Overall, I liked this movie better when it was called Back to the Future.

........ I also spent a lot of time worrying about the characters fucking up the Space Time Continuum. Am I unromantic? Or just a nerd?

Monday, November 27, 2006

The Learning Annex

I don't care what you say. My blog is educational. I mean, I was there. I helped someone out when, on a Saturday night at 11:16pm, they needed to know.... tossing salad-does it taste like shit?

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Monday, November 20, 2006


It seems so little left of life(in a Big City anyway) can be left up to spontaneity anymore.
No new theatrical releases on the fly.
Get togethers with friends are like trying to coordinate a G8 summit.
Last minute getaways are best left to your travel agent who has the computer power of HAL:2001.
You can't decide on a run 4 days out. (No running bandits my a&&!)
Bars are taking reservations now??
And of course I have to book my haircuts with Alex 3 months prior! When I saw him a few Sundays ago, he asked, "so why are you back already?" "Don't test me Alex! How the hell am I supposed to know what my hair looks like 3 months ahead?"

Its enough to send you over the Calendar Cliff. Thankfully, one can still get a delicious scoop of Butter Pecan and Comforting Snuggles from my Honey on a Saturday Night

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

One Step at a Time

You may have caught the references in some recent posts .. But have you noticed?
It's that time of year...
There is a crispness in the air, the sun shines with a different intensity (if it shines at all!), and a few of us get a little stir crazy. Oh yes, the Fall Marathon Season is in full stride.

In much of the USA, fall is the best time of year to run a marathon. The crisp, cool air is ideal for training after a long, hot summer. The training miles and long runs come easier; you just feel better while running. ~Let me switch gears just slightly as I also include 5k/10k runs in this post.~ I have completed numerous 10Ks, 12Ks and even two half-marathons but I have yet to complete a full marathon. As it was, 13 miles was the furthest I had ever pushed my body and to date it's the hardest thing I have ever done. Indeed, after a big running year in '05, I think I subconsciously took a minor sabbactical from running. Somehow, somewhere I lost my motivation. Just going 4 miles once a week has been a physical (and mental!) challenge.

But as I watched my friend Van finish her first half marathon, whilst pregnant!, and Lance Armstrong finish his first marathon sub 3:00(2:59:36!!) , I found my motivation again. And although a full marathon may or may not be in the cards.. (after all, if Armstrong says the 26.2 miles "was without a doubt the hardest physical thing [he has] ever done", you think twice before committing) I'm ready to lace up the running shoes again.

I've checked my schedule and I'm excited by all the runs listed. There are 3Ks, 5Ks, 10Ks, 12Ks, and oh yes... a Turkey Trot on Ocean Beach! I'm hoping my rediscovered drive is not shortlived; a lot of this "get up and go" could get up and leavee when faced with a 5am wake-up call in 45 degree weather. But I resolve that I'm just going to take it.. ... wait for it.... wait... One Step At a Time..... *rimshot*

So here's to Running Season and the Pounding of the pavement! May your legs remain strong and your laces stay tied.

Thursday, November 09, 2006



I just heard Gwen Stefani's new single, Wind It Up... and she has gone ahead and bastardized a song from one of my favorite movies of all time! Was it really necessary to co-opt The Lonely Goatherd for her stupid lame pop song??? Was pilfering from Zorba the Greek Fiddler on the Roof not enough? It sounds horrible! I love you Gwen, but what happened to song writing!!!???? Oh wait, you don't really do that a whole lot anymore do you? I hope the rest of the album doesn't consist of spelling lessons again... "B-R-O-C-C-O-L-I!". I know you've got it in you. Enough is Enough!

Who am I kidding? I'm a lemming. Give me another 2 weeks; I'll probably LOVE it.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Rock the Vote!

By no means could I ever be mistaken for being a political pundit. And lord knows neither of my 2(!) readers come here to find out about my analysis on the financial impact of a cigarette tax. But as I stepped out my door this morning, I was, as I am every 2 years, exhilerated by the prospect of Election Day. Putting aside our day to day cynicsm of politics and politicians (Voter fraud? Seducing Pages?), I am always thrilled at the sight of Democracy at work.

Because here in a stranger's garage I was adding my voice to the future. Excuse me, that's Future, with a capitol F. I step up to voting station and go head on with my ballot. My ticket to Democracy.
..We hear it time and time again; the shpiel about spreading democracy across the globe. We hear all the time people fighting, dying, to have a say in their government. And here in America ,I feared more people would vote for their favorite Dancing Star tonight than their Senator.

But as the results come in, I am ebullient. The tide has changed, the people have made their choice clear. I may not always agree with the results, but for me, it's always important to know people are out there casting their votes. And hey for the first time, we have a woman Speaker of the House! Go Nancy! You're third in line to the presidency!
In the words of the venerated Dan Rather, she ran away with it like a hobo and a sweet potato pie...

Monday, November 06, 2006

Go Brazil! Finish time 2:09:58

Ggggaaa. I had something really cool and quasi poignant to say today about the NYC Marathon. I cried like a little girl during it's airing on tv today.
But I'm unfortunately too friggin tired to write anything other than:

(In taunting voice)
EEHHH HHHHAAA! Ken Yans lo-ost! Ken Yans lo-ost!

You'd think I'd just ran a marathon! (Hey sometimes, being a spectator at a spectator sport can be so tiring!)

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Wednesday Scattergories

For the first time in I think.. years... I 'm wearing hose today. Ok, opaque black stockings. But you get my drift....
And they are as uncomfortable as I remember them being. F*ck...

Overheard at the office:
H: Hey, it's raining!
Rowdeezy: Outside?

I'm reaching for my vitamins... but I can't remember if I JUST took them 15 minutes ago. Should I just take a second dose anyway?

I think the stockings are getting to me.....

Monday, October 30, 2006

'Twas 3 Nights Before Halloween

I never would have believed it.. but I have actually dressed up for Halloween two years in a row! And lo! I even hosted a Halloween Party! Sure beats past years where I sat at home avoiding horror movies on TNT and eating takeout. Thanks to my peeps for sharing their photos! (I'm still going through the grief cycle with my old Canon Powershot.) And to all the guests, thanks for coming out to share the fun!

Oooops. Sorry. That's the wrong picture...

Oh that's better! Our motley assortment of costumed revelers.

The Lewis Carroll Trio. *chuckle!* I just noticed Sake off to the side intently staring at Leslie's Flamingo! (It's really a dog toy she fastened onto a Swifter.)

And the great costumes just keep coming!

YO BETTY! LOVED this. In fact I'm stealing it for the office Halloween competition. I work in Beauty, what could be more ironic?

All Hail Caesar Salad!!

Sure sign that the party is over when the hostess melts away..

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Coffee, Tea, or Me

My girl Leslie is a whiz at thinking up party themes. We had decided a few weeks ago we didn't want to pay $30 for some club event. But what was the alternative? After a 20 second "hmmmm".. she responded with, "Got it! Alice in Wonderland Tea Party! Done."

So this Saturday I will be hosting a Tea Party, complete with a slutty cast of characters: Slutty Alice, The Queen of Harlots, and yours truly a Mad Hotter. God help us.

Received my costume on Monday. Eh. Without the cape and hat, it looks like I'm a figure skater. We'll see how it turns out. I still need to find a cheapie Toy Tea Set. It's been harder than I thought! Do little girls not play with tea sets anymore???

Some of the men have been a little more slow with costumes. I told them to come as aWet Blanket. Bwahahaha! Oh, damn I'm funny. The other idea was to just wear all green and get his hands on a Hookah Pipe. Caterpillar. Done! Anyone have any other easy to execute costume ideas for men?

Monday, October 23, 2006

Whirly Twirly

I Googled "whirly twirly" this morning and this was the first image I came across.. Go figure.

The point of today's story is really to say.. hang on folks... lots of blogging to come. I have a jumble of topics all up here.. *taps temple*, but things have been so hectic that I haven't been able to quite settle down to get them all down.

All sorts of activites since September and continuing on through November have had my mind all in a Whirly Twirly. And with the Holiday Season within our Tippy Toe Reach, there will be no relief in sight for some time. So be patient with me!

In a quick sidenote, congrats go out to all the women yesterday who trained so hard to complete 13 and 26 miles at the Nike Women's Marathon.! It's not easy and in some ways one of the hardest things you'll ever do. But in some respects, and this is the best part, you realize halfway through your runners high, that it actually isn't that bad... and that if you can do this.. you can do anything!!! YAAAAY for you Girly Girls 2006, I'm bummed I skipped out this year but I'm so glad I got to see you at the Finish Line. You've inspired me to push on for 2007!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Project Runway at Fashion Week

It's time for Bryant Park, Fashion Week!!

Jeffrey "I Forgot to Shower" Sebilla knocked my socks off with a collection that was full of surprises. Sweet and edgy. I would wear almost every piece! (Yeah, if I lost 50 lbs first.)

Uli "I Forgot to Comb My Hair" Herzner came up with essentially a resort collection that was pretty and wearable.. But did she just repeat a lot of what she has already done the entire season? Pretty much. BORING.

Laura "I Forgot to Thank My Rich Sculptor Husband" Bennett... Trying to break out of the one note designs she conjured up during the season was ambitious with her gowns. We saw high-waisted *yawn*, we saw feathers *snore* but wow! We saw pants! Lovely. But I also saw an entirely extraneous piece of tulle globbed onto a blazer. Huh??

Michael "I Forgot How to Fit a Woman" Knight was my initial favorite coming out of the block.. I lost some of my faith through the course of hte season and looked forward to his show. With his Safari Huntress theme, I'm not sure I got any of that confidence back. The overall look and feel is HOT, but the fit seems to be off. Some pieces just dont' seem flattering.

I think Jeffrey and Laura had the most confident collection. But Jeffrey is the one that strikes the note of originality with me. He gets my vote.

Who do I think will win?... .. Possible that Laura pulls it out... ...
Sorry Michael! You will get there!
Ta Ta Laura! You bored the judges.
Ggggaaa! Who will it be??


Jeffrey!!!! You deserve it! You deserve it!!! You are the rockstar!!!! Now go take a shower.Project Runway Jeffrey
Project Runway Dress

Thursday, October 12, 2006


Edit: Evidently, I need this:

Clocky, The Alarm Clock For The Snooze Button Lover.
If I hit the snooze button, Clocky® (patent pending) will roll off of the nightstand, fall to the floor, and run around the room, wheel away, bumping mindlessly into objects until it finds a spot to rest. When the alarm sounds again, I've gotta haul ass to look for it. Clocky will find new spots everyday, kind of like a hide-and-seek game.... Due to be released next month, I am so there...

The radio(NPR) alarm goes off each morning at 6:52am. I don't seem to hear it.
Next, my melodic buzzer goes off next at 7:06am. This one I hear. But I promptly sit up, slap the SNOOZE button and go back to sleep. It goes off again in 10 minutes but I repeat the SNOOZE process.
I have recently added the 7:21am TV alarm. Once that kicks off, I usually fumble around under my pillows for the remote. I press a few buttons to get the beeping to stop but I leave the tv on. With the soothing voice of Matt Lauer droning on, I usually float in and out of sleep again.
That is, until my alarm clock buzzes again. And sometimes it has to buzz a few more times. I have been finally hauling myself out of bed at around 8am. About 45 minutes after I intend to.
And so it goes it each morning..... It's like Groundhog Day.. but not.

I've had boyfriends who I think have broken up with me over this SNOOZE addiction.. What's a girl to do?

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Always Bet on Black

There are far bigger tech geeks in the world than me. But, as some of you know.. I'z love my phonez! And with everyone and their mother(and father) gabbing on a Razr nowadays, I feel the need to move on. Not to mention, I can't believe my phone is still functioning after all the abuse its taken(There by the Grace of God...). I'm fairly sure it's on its last Motorolegs.

Codenamed the Motorola Canary, this beauty has now made its official appearance at Verizon Wireless. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to the next generation Razr: Motorola krzr . I just got back from Verizon because I needed to have a tactile moment with it.

Verdict?? Hot. HOt. HoT. Its slightly longer, but narrower than its predesessor. The shell looks like some mixture of magnesium and glass, very Terminator. AND, the music player can be controlled by the touch-sensitve buttons you see in the pic. NICE.

Linda, put $10 on Black 27 for me because Momma needs a new phone!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Allo Guv'nah!

So many of us have opined over Handsome Gavin's overabundant reliance on slickery hair gel.

But has our dubiously coiffed Mayor recently turned a new leaf?
Do my eyes deceive me? Is that Hugh Grant or is that really our Mayor sans Dippity Do? Is this his attempt at being "down with people?" An intentional attempt at placating those who are Hair Product impaired?

No, methinks this is the intitial gubernatorial bid at Newsom 2010. After all, if you're going to be the Governor of the great state of California, you've gotta get serious...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

School Nights

I've never aspired to be the Weekend Warrior party-type. I've just always prided myself on being the City Girl who avoided the Bridge and Tunnel crowd at all cost. "I hate going out on Saturdays!" And I have enough blurry Taco Tuesdays to attest to that.

But I have noticed lately a reluctance to mosy out during the work week, aka school nights. I've caught myself thinking twice when making plans for a weekday. No offense to anyone but I sometimes just want to come home from the office/gym and relax(watch the Lost season premiere, or Jules and Mimi or something). Hell, I want to do that a lot! .... But then 5 years go buy and you have the social skills of badger. You might be up on your Reality TV, but you have no idea that Absolut Vodka now comes in 57 flavors. Your skin looks fabulous from all the Astara masks you've been doing, but there are no cute-guys-who-are-way-too-young-for-you around to admire you.

So where am I going with this? Eff.... I don't know.... I'ts 12:20am and I've been watching Dog Whisperer DVD's most of the evening ..... I need to get out tomorrow night...

and don't lie. Who remembers Jules and Mimi??

Friday, September 29, 2006


As if my body was sensitive to the power of suggestion.... Turns out I had to cleanse myself right in the middle of my Wednesday run. Not very convenient. Much relieved once I got to cleanse back home. In fact, I think the planets aligned to help things along even further as more cleansing ultimately happened after that. (I know, TMI. Ha!) This preview has been enough to convince me that there is no way that I am going to subject myself to 4-5 cleanses a day via Master Cleanse. That feeling is just too tortuous. Sorry Dahlings. I haven't the fortitude.

On the pleasant topic tip: As I washed my hair last night, I thought to myself.. "I am definitely not in the mood for my monthly Category Review tomorrow. (We're going to meet with the President again on Monday anyway.) Please cancel our meeting tomorrow. *shimmy in the shower* Cancel, cancel, cancel. *shimmy* *shimmy* *shake*"

So yep. Guess what? At 9:35 this morning, he walked into my VP's office to reschedule, ie. cancel. Woooohhoooooo!

You had all better watch out Dahlings..... My powers are growing....

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Fast and The Furious

An interesting concept has been making its way around the office in the past few weeks. A few co-workers have gone on a 10-day cleansing fast developed by Stanley Burroughs back in 1941, The Master Cleanser. It's also known as the Lemonade Diet, but I think that name makes it sound far more gimmicky.

Mr.Burroughs, a researcher of disease and “toxemia”, believed disease is simply the accumulation of wastes, toxins, or poisons in the body, which in turn creates the myriad of symptomatic illnesses we are seeing so prevalent in people today.

It is a liquid mono-diet that cleanses and detoxifies the body as it stimulates healthy tissue growth. It consists of fresh lime or lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper mixed with water and drunk 6-12 times a day, for at least 10 days(Met a fellow, "John the Baptist" last night at Super! Tuesday who claims to have done it for 21.). This yummy little "lemonade" concoction is meant to allow a cleansing and rejuvenation of the system. Many people claim to feel a dramatic and beneficial change within their bodies within a fairly short time. These benefits include increased energy, better sleep patterns, less tension, relief from aches and pains, plus clearer thinking. SOUNDS GREAT! Where do I sign up??

Not so fast my friends. Since the Master Cleanse consists of no fiber, you must use a laxative to remove the waste as it is being shed from the colon wall, otherwise it will stay in the body, leading to tiredness and any number of problems. Enter now the Salt Water sludge part of the diet. "Each morning on an empty stomach, add two teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt to a full quart of water. Do not use ordinary iodized salt as it will not work properly. Drink the entire quart of salt water first thing in the morning. "Chug" this — drink it as fast as possible. Within an hour several bowel movements will likely occur. (You'll need to be by a toilet for half an hour to an hour.)" OMGWTFBBQ!!

So not only will you be also stocking up on lemons and cayenne paper, you had better make a Costco run for toilet paper too! This also means I have to get up 90 minutes earlier than usual so as to be close to my own bathroom as the BMs occur. This is a lot of commitment. But then, this isn't called the Partial Cleanse is it? No, it's a MASTER Cleanse. Which means you will probably be saying hello to Thankgsiving Dinner from 1982 at some point.
There is a small group that is intended to start the Fast together, misery loves company and all that. The topic of BMs will surely become at the forefront of many conversations at the workplace; who knew? Although I would love the moral support my co-workers could offer me, I'm not sure I could even commit to 1 full day of this, let alone 10. As we all know, I sorely lack discipline in the area of self-depravation. But since I won't be running any marathons or scaling any mountains this year, perhaps this will have to count as my physical(and mental!) challenge for 2006. Stay tuned...

Friday, September 22, 2006

Friday Scattergories: Redux

E: Yeah.. I think she has scabies...
Row: WHAT? Scabies! What the hell is THAT? Don't pirates get that??!
E: Uh... That's scurvy.

So, it's the last day of summer. And as much as I love Autumn, those words always make me a little sad. THE LAST DAY OF SUMMER. It sounds so final, so.. end of an era. Like somehow I should be running out in my bikini doing a shimmy, soaking up every last ray of sun I can possibly can. Instead, I'm going to return an ill-fitting 1piece bathing suit back to J.Crew. And no, I didn't wear it in Maui! Gross.

Discovered these on a run last month(am I late to the party?) But LOVE them. Taste soooo much better then GU™ and really work! Everybody run out and get some!

So yeah. Did you hear? I got wiped out on Napili Beach while trying to take pictures of my nephew. The wave came in and knocked me down. But because I was holding both my AND my father's camera, I stuck my arms up in the air shouting, "Get the cameras! Get the cameras!" to my sister and BIL. Well, because I didn't brace myself, I got washed out and all my sister saw were too hands sticking out of the water passing her by. After that, I was enitrely in Spin Cycle. ugh. In case you ever wondered, salt water fucks up your digital camera in an very expedient manner. And so now I have added digital camera to the ever-growing list of things I need but can't afford.

Friday, September 15, 2006

On Trial

So I ask you, Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, are these the faces of snake killers???? On second thought, don't answer that....

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Maui was Zowee

I'm back at work on 4 hours sleep. Yes, as can be predicted, our flight was delayed by 2 hours and I couldn't fall asleep until almost 3am. I've still got 70+ emails to go through... I'll try to share more of the Maui Trip tonight while I lobotomize myself watching that douchebag Tucker Carlsson ballroom dance. Until then, a few things I learned while vacationing with my family

  • My Mother is not only the Garbage Nazi; she is also the Laundry Nazi.
  • Owen Wilson's nose is a lot smaller in real life. (Sighting at Maui Airport Bar.)
  • You should really pay more attention when your sister says "here comes a big one." (More on that later.)
  • Travelling with a 3-year-old is not as bad as I thought it would be.
  • Real plumeria smells far better than the crap they sell at Bath & Body Works.
  • You will get flim-flammed. Make sure you are Very Clear about what you pay for in Hawaii.
  • Sometimes.... SPF 15 is just not enough..... OUCH!

PS Blogger photo upload isn't working for me at the moment. Sorry!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

I Can't Decide

I leave the house for the airport at 5am tomorrow...
Should I travel in my sleeping clothes? Or sleep in my travel clothes?

And BTW, what is up with this bit of bulldonkey weather forecast??

WedSep 6
Partly Cloudy
20% Precipitation

ThuSep 7
AM Showers / Wind
30% Precipitation

FriSep 8
Showers / Wind
60% Precipitation

SatSep 9
Few Showers / Wind
30% Precipitation

SunSep 10
Showers / Wind
40% Precipitation

MonSep 11
Showers / Wind
40% Precipitation

Friday, September 01, 2006

Do You Remembah?

Wait, wait, hold on.. *stammers* WHOA. Um, huh?? When did September show up? I don't remember inviting him to the party!

I'm not ready Dahlings! I'm not ready! I haven't been to the beach ONCE this summer! (OK, maybe once. But it was pretty cold and I wasn't even in a bathing suit. I don't think it counts and neither should you.)

I've had zero BBQ's on my grill. I've only used my heat lamp once.

Well, that's it. I'm going to have to make up for it. Wednesday, I leave for Maui. .... And I'm going to love it. September better know how to clean up after himself.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Don't Leave Home WIthout Them

As we go through this week with the media's focus on post-Katrina New Orleans, I must salute and wish Bon Voyage to my girl Leslie as she is about to embark down south. I'm sure she will come back with her own firsthand account of what's going on down there. You are an inspiration Leslie.. Go and spread some of our California Love and Godspeed.

And as I continue to do my small part in supporting the amazing work that the SF SPCA does, I was curious to see how the Louisiana SPCA was faring one year on. Reading about the devotion of these individuals and volunteers for helpless animals in the face of such tragedy brought tears to my eyes.

"On August 20, 2006 a pet memorial was held to honor all the animals that lost their lives as a result of Hurricane Katrina. That the memories and aftershocks of Katrina will remain with us for a long time to come is undeniable. It has impacted every facet of life for a community of people and its animals. The response and reaction to the animal tragedies of Katrina has hopefully marked a turning point in how we view and treat our animal companions.
Reflecting on the past year compels us to do no less."

I spoke to "someone who shall remain nameless" yesterday about my fundraising efforts and was posed this question: "Don't you think there are plenty of actual people who could use this help?" Yes, indeed. In this seemingly unfair world of ours, there are charities and non-profits galore to help our fellow man. But for our pets and essentially, family members, if we don't help them? WHO WILL? I know Sake can't vaccinate herself. She can't cook herself dinner. She can't log onto Craigslist to find a new place to live(At least, I don't think she can...). I would like to think that we can show more compassion for our animals then clubbing them to death as a solution. (Yeah Yunnan Province, I'm talking to you!!!)

So until I catch Sake ordering herself kibble on my MAC, I will continue to offer my support to these amazing organizations. I'm thinking of becoming a member of the LA SPCA.

And if you still have any doubts about the bond we have with animals...

Hundreds of pets homeless in New Orleans a year after Katrina

by Mira Oberman Thu Aug 24, 3:24 PM ET
NEW ORLEANS, United States (AFP) - A symphony of barks echoes through the converted warehouse acting as New Orleans' temporary animal shelter a year after Hurricane Katrina separated thousands of pets from their owners.
Most of the animals rescued after 80 percent of the city was flooded have found their way back to their owners or to new homes across the country.But the city's only animal shelter - which operates out of an old coffee warehouse without air conditioning or drainage - is still full of hundreds of pets awaiting adoption.

Some are strays found wandering through the rubble of abandoned homes. Others were given up by owners unable to care for them because of the stress of living in tiny trailers while they rebuild their homes, among other reasons.

"People are still getting their lives together," explained Gloria Dauphin, the assistant director of the Louisiana Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA). "Housing is a big, big issue and renting with an animal is next to impossible."
Tails wagging and tongues lagging, the dogs follow people walking by the rows of cages with bright eyes, yipping and begging for some attention. Cats meow and stick their paws through the bars, ready to play and purring at the scratch of an ear.

Between 2,000 and 3,000 animals died in the floods or in the hot, lonely days after evacuees were barred from taking their pets or returning to find them.

"So many people would not leave because the government came to rescue the people and left the pets behind," said Wayne Pacelle, president of the Humane Society of the United States. There was an incredible drama that played out and a recognition that an incredible bond exists between people and their animals, and if you fail to account for that bond your work is going to be undermined."

Animal rescue workers found their efforts stymied when they were barred from entering the city until a week after the storm hit. They paddled through floodwaters and broke into houses to rescue the pets of people who thought they would only be gone two or three days. Animals barred from evacuation buses were picked up on the streets as they rooted through garbage in search of food. About 16,000 pets were rescued and shipped to shelters across the country. Only 15 to 20 percent were eventually reunited with their owners. A lack of proper identification and technology to handle such a huge project slowed the reunion process, as did the time it took evacuees to find suitable housing.

A couple dozen families have since sued aid agencies because the new owners of their pets would not return them.

Pacelle said there a strong moral and legal case to be made that the animals should be returned to their original owners, but that the shelters could not house the pets indefinitely while waiting for owners to track them down. Seven states and the federal government have since passed laws ensuring that evacuation plans include pets, and some of those laws have even provided funds for pet-friendly shelters. Animal shelters across the country have contacted the Louisiana SPCA to get a copy of its evacuation plan, which managed to safely evacuate 263 animals ahead of the storm. That foresight saved their lives: when the shelter's staff was finally allowed to return they found the shelter swamped with eight feet of water, Dauphin said.

The SPCA is currently raising funds for a new 17 million dollar facility slated to open in January."

Sunday, August 27, 2006


Things I have learned are troublesome, if not outright impossible, to do with one hand:

Buttering Toast
Putting on a bra (ALERT! Front clasps! HUZZAH!!)
Opening Gatorade
Sweeping the stairs
Parallel parking
Hanging up clothes in an overpacked closet
Washing the dog
Changing my bedsheets
Shaving my right armpit
Lifting my September issue of Vogue, aka "The Bible"

I see the Dr. on Thursday. I can only assume/pray this is also the day the bandages come off. I'm not sure how many showers I can take with my hand in a plastic bag. It's cramping my style. .. D has taken to calling it The Third Wheel, amongst other things..

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hump Day

In the second time in less than 3 years, I went in for outpatient surgery. (The first time for my foot.) My ganglion cyst had made a reappearance (See March 1, 2006) and it was time to say goodbye once and for all.

So here I am, typing with one hand, feeling my hair get greasy. Waiting for Project Runway. Waiting for my vicodin. Nice hump day.

Monday, August 21, 2006

At the Movies

Is there anyone else out there willing to admit that they've watched Siskel & Ebert since the days of Public Television? My love for movies is no secret; but I must admit that my burgeoning eye for film was influenced by these two movie critics. They introduced me to Merchant/Ivory films when I was 17 and now A Room With a View is pretty much my all time favorite movie. (If no one has googled my quote yet.. well.. ok.. now you know where its from.)

Through the years I didn't rely so much on their actual Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ratings, but their eye and how each brought their perspective to film. They were the first to help me understand how film can be art, how it can transcend it's celluloid form, and how a cinematographer can make Julia Roberts look good. But they also reminded me that sometimes, eh, you just like what you like. I was indeed sad to see Gene Siskel pass, and with Roger Ebert hospital bound for the last 2 months, I thought At the Movies were numbered. Nothing personal against Richard Roeper, but really, who cares about him?

But here's where it gets interesting... good friend(Ebert's, not mine!) Jay Leno has stepped in as guest critic. And one of my favorites, Kevin Smith, recently made an appearance. You might think that 2 people that are so immersed in show business already couldn't possibly give coherent unjaded critiques of movies.

But here are 2 people who loves movies, who know their movies. Watching Kevin Smith rhapsodize about his Thumbs Up picks for the week reminded me how much I too love film. And how much I've fallen behind. They definitely don't make it easy to sneak out for a movie here in San Francisco. My 185+ movies queued on Netflix can attest to that.

I hope to fit the following current releasees somehow, someway:
Little Miss Sunshine (GREAT cast, n'est pas?)
Half Nelson(Stellar reviews. And Gosling is brilliant; The Notebook notwithstanding... lol!)
THE ILLUSIONIST!!! (C'mon, if you know me, you'd know this is right up my alley. And no E, this will NOT make your powers come out.)
World Trade Center (Sure, It's a 10-Hanky; but it's an UPLIFTING 10-hanky.)
Trust the Man(because I have a softspot for Mulder... I mean, David Duchovny.)

What's on your list? And when are we going???

Friday, August 18, 2006

Psycho Sake Stalker Speechless

I needed some lightness and froth; a break from the Psycho Sake Stalker. But I must finish this little saga, as I know you are all waiting with bated breath. Ha!

Tuesday afternoon rolled around with still no word from Lt Tisdale. Erica's and my frustrations were mounting. Does Animal Care and Control really STILL need to see our dog? Did they really have the right to take the dog if there was ANY suspicion at all? Do the field officers even check their voicemail? The office and the dispatch seemed so frayed each time they answered the phone, you would think there were rottweilers, pitbulls, and kimodo dragons running amok on every San Francisco street corner! (In comparion, Erica said the Contra Costa County Animal Control offices were closed on Sunday and Monday.).. I finally called one last time to reach the Lieutenant's superiors. "That would be Vicki B. But she's out sick today." Ok, how about her superior? "That would be Kat B." Kat B? The Deputy Director? Yeah, I'll talk to her.

Here is a shoutout to Kat Brown for spending the time with me and listening to my story. I gave her all the info I had to prove Sake was our Little Pooper Scooper and she said, "Well, this seems sufficient to me. I don't think we're going to need to see your dog." HUzzaH!! "I'm sorry for the confusion. We'll have this wrapped up for you first thing tomorrow once I confirm with the Lieutenant."

And so, according to the City, this case is closed. The complaint was without merit. I was told by Lt. Tisdale that Sake Stalker seemed a little heartbroken that we were able to show proof. "She didn't know what to say." And I guess I would be the same if I was so sure of myself. *sigh* I'm sorry Diana. I'm sorry for your loss. But I'm not sorry I filed a police report against your highly suspicious psycho behavior. And now that we have proved our case, if I ever see you near my street or hear that you were on my street, it will be Restraining Order City for you.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

"Make It Work"

I've had this post cooking since last week... but as you may have noticed, I got .. um.. sidetracked. .. Yeah.

Summer TV usually means rehashes of the sitcoms you never watched in the first place anyway. (Not you "How I Met Your Mother"! I'm so not talking about you!) Thank goodness for the sleeper hit Project Runway. Going into its third season with Emmy nominations under its fashion belt it's really not such a sleeper anymore.

5 weeks in I'm going to go out on a limb and name my favorites right now.
Michael Knight: 3 words: Fucking Fierce. I loved his coffee filter dress from Week 1. And when he got to reinvent Pam "Motherfuckin" Grier, wowzah. He's humble, he's got a great attitude, and He's Got the Goods. 2 wins Back to Back? Get the f*ck out.

Jeffrey Sebilia: Sure he's prickish. But he's a prick in a deconstructed genius kind of a way. I am obsessed with that tattoo on his neck. And his trompe l'oeil belt this week will be his piece de resistance of the season.

Uli.. what's her name: Her accent is adorable. "Fashion people don't recycle.." She, too, has vision. None of it is necessarily my taste.. but I predict the Top 3 for her too.

Robert Best: This Barbie designer won't make the Top 3; in fact I think it's a matter of time before he goes. But I love his personality and just like having him around. "My dress actually looked like a cocktail dress. Albeit a cheap tacky cocktail dress a hooker might wear , but still a cocktail dress."

Laura Bennett: Mother of 5. Impeccable workmanship; but ultimatley a bore, a snore, and will add no new vision of anything whatsoever to the fashion world. Says Jeffrey about Laura.."Another high waisted skirt... .... ..... F*ck!"

Keith Michael: Forever known as The Cheat. Sorry you had to go because you had some beautiful pieces. But as Tim said, "Rules are rules. You leave tonight."

Vincent Libretti: I often feel you're deluded; and you're going to regret cashing in your 401K.....

Angela Keslar: She's from Amesville, Ohio, and it shows.

Stacey Estrella: From San Francisco. w00t! Gets kicked off first week. -DOH!

Another prediction? Martha Stewart will be the "Everyday" woman Heidi is referring to in next week's preview.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

And the Plot(Such As It Is).. Thickens...

Lieutenant T, Field Officer of the SF Animal Care & Control, has picked up all the paperwork from my mailbox. All she did was leave a note stating, "Missed 9:30 appointment. Picked up packet. Still need to see your dog."

I have left her 2 voicemails and she has not called me back. She's a f*cking whore. (Sorry! I'm sorry!.. I just hate all these people right now!) We found out from a person at the Animal Care office that if the Field Officer feels that the dog has been harmed in any way, or if they think it's the missing dog, they can get the bigass leash from their car and take Sake away. It's their call. .. Does anyone know of a lawyer that can answer some questions????

On the other end, I filed a "suspicious occurence" report against Diana H., the woman who is accusing me. I can't file anything else because technically, she hasn't done anything illegal... yet... ... that I know of......

Well two can play that game...Through modern technology, I was able to figure out that she teaches a Sunday morning kickboxing class at an SF gym. And GUESS WHAT?? My friend S(the kickass instructor/trainer) knows her!!! GET OUT!! We've all said it once, we've said it a gazillion times; San Francisco may be population 750,000-ish, but it's a SMALL f*cking town. So yeah, S said to me.. "You know what? You're right. I do remember her saying she lost her dog a few months ago.. Ugh.. I always thought that b*tch was crazy."

Well yes indeed I second that motion! Could it be she has suffered from a psychotic break? Afterall, I'm sure her dog can't give the camera SexyBack like Sake can.


Monday, August 14, 2006


I know I've got some Random Acts of Kindness stories to post. But it's my blog so I take precedence.
You see, on July 5th, I took the day off to recover from the cupcake overload. Normally I go running with a girlfriend along the Embarcadero and this Wednesday was no different. Except since I was leaving from home, and not work... I took little Sake with me.As we slowed down our run, right in front of the ferry buildling, a woman stopped and asked if she could pet Sake. No worries, Sake is sooo adorable; everyone wants to pet her!Well, this Psycho Beyotch proceeded to tell me she "lost" her dog a month and a half ago. And her dog looked EXACTLY like Sake. Did I get her as gift? And yeah. She was basically accusing me of having her stolen dog. I told her I was sorry about her dog... but my baby has been with my family for 2 Christmases now. Oh and nevermind, Sake is showing not one little hint of recognition of this Psycho! So she's mistaken. I grabbed on to Sake's leash and we walked away. A car had been waiting for her, and she hopped in.

I told her story to my family and some friends but thought nothing more of it until this weekend. My neighbor told me a woman had knocked on his door this past Monday, asking about me. Asking about Sake. Seems she followed me that first day and either got my address off my license plate #, or she followed me all the way home. Unbeknownst to oblivous me, she has been skulking about snooping. Chills ran down my arm... and David and I agreed I should probably go file a report to the police.Today, Sake and I spent the afternoon shopping and upon my return, I had a note on my door from the SF Dept of Animal Care and Control. I got the officer on the phone and she said, well there has been a complaint about your dog and I need to meet with you. (BTW, this Lt is a complete fucking bitch.)
"What is the complaint Lt?"
"Well, I 'm pretty sure you know that there is a woman who claims you have her missing dog. And she has filed a report with us and the SFPD."

So, yes. Now we're pulling all Sake's paperwork, vaccinations, puppy pictures... to prove she indeed belongs to our family. I've been on the phone with my sister, my D, my father, in tears. Not because I think there's a chance of Sake not being mine, but because.. oh shit.. I don't know why!! That this CRAZY woman is so overcome with grief that she can go around accusing others of some a horrible crime! Based on one encounter! As I told the Animal Control lady,
"Frankly, I am about to go file a police report of my own. I find it quite disturbing this woman has followed me to my home and violated my privacy."
"Well I would probably do the same thing if I thought it was my dog.
""Well it's not. And I would report you to the police too."
I am upset. I'm scared. To think she would want to take away my little Sake To Me that I have loved for 2 years! (And yes. I put a pair of sunglasses on her, wrapped her up in blankets, and stowed her away on board Air Force One.) I'm headed to SFPD in a few minutes to see what I can do about filing a report.

Note to self: Pick up some mace.

Friday, August 11, 2006

And the Battle Rages On

Under the watchful eye of the Full Moon, a small group of us gathered Wednesday night to partake in the age-old Battle of the Sexes.

Our lovely hostess, Linda, made sure we were comfortable with our wine and beer (and Pep.Pizza!) and after that the Game Was Afoot! It did not initially bode well for the Ladies as we weren’t able to decide if Asteroids or Meteors were chunks of crap in space. After that we were backhanded with Baseball and NYSE questions. Meanwhile, the Men were able to move ahead on the board with their knowledge of blind stitches and movie musicals. But all was not easy sailing for them as they had to answer this little gem of mine:
“What is ‘twall?”
Lane: “Hmmm. Can you use it in a sentence?”
Row: “Yes. What is ‘twall?”

EDIT: This was literally how the game spelled the term. None of the Ladies knew what it was either.. Until Leslie pointed out recently that it is probably TOILE, spelled phonetically. Which of course, ALL us Ladies know TOILE is a France(French?)-originated fabric/decorating pattern consisting of a white or off-white background with a repeated pattern depicting a fairly complex, generally pastoral scene, usually black, dark red, or blue.

And really, seriously... how CUTE are these boots??????????

But I digress.....

We even thought we had them when the Men almost confirmed that Ricky Martinez was the MTV Star who sang Livin’ La Vida Loca! Alas, they were still able to capture one of our players and forge ahead. (I mean honestly, who can really name all 3 of Donald Trump’s books??)

The Ladies put up a good fight with Linda’s knowledge of the 13th Amendment, and my movie trivia database. As the moon continued to rise, and Lane’s eyelids continued to fall, I managed to save the whole lot of us any more heartache by drawing the greatest Wild Card: “You have been asked on a date by Tom Cruise. You decline. Advance to the end of the game.” THANK YOU EVERYBODY!! GOOD NIGHT!

And so the first officially sanctioned Battle of the Sexes ended. I learned Bill Russell was the first Black Coach of the NBA. But I already knew that we are an incredibly competitive bunch! So here’s to the next Battle of the Sexes. BRING IT ON!!!!!!

PS. I am soooo getting this version:

Monday, August 07, 2006

Something's in the Water

Just chilling here, after a mundane Monday, with my pecan-crusted salmon; and I'm watching a rerunof Iconoclasts: Newman and Redford. Now, I have pretty much always felt this way.. but I just want to state for the record, I loves me some Paul Newman. Robert is n- OH MY GOD!!!

My sister just called me, a three-way call with my cousin in SoCal:

Everybody: Hi!!

M: I saw your website for the Doggone Fun Run!

Rowdeezy: Yeah! Are you gonna pledge!

Sis: If you do, pledge to Dad's page. He's only got $15.

M: He's doing the walk?

Rowdeezy: Yeah, we needed 5 members to officially be a team. So I signed mom and dad up.

M: Oh! So I could sign up! And Jason P. can sign up. And so can Baby P!

Rowdeezy: *pause* Did you just spill the beans??!!!

M: *laughs* Yep!

Rowdeezy: Awwww!! Oh my god that's so awesome! I just find out today that someone else at work is pregnant too! Must be something in the water!

Sis: Oh yeah? What if I told you I was too?

Rowdeezy: Shut up! That would just be too much!

Sis: But what if I was?

Rowdeezy: I would have to hang up. That's just far too overwhelming!

Sis: Well, you better not! Cuz I am!

Everybody: *crying*

Sis: And I'm due on your birthday!

Rowdeezy: Oooooohh! *cries some more*

How's that for a slam bang phone call!!! Except, my mobile dropped the phone call. So now they really do think I hung up on them!
Gotta go!