Monday, June 18, 2007

Making New Friends...

So its a beautiful busy Monday.  My entire left leg has been aching since last night.  And it was yet another morning that I had to walk all the way to Market Street to catch the Muni to work.
But more importantly, I want to know why on EARTH I got invited to be "friends" with this MySpace chick...???

Friday, June 08, 2007

Bitter and Indignant, Paris is Burning

I know this story has already been beaten to death.... but quite frankly, I could not believe my eyes when I opened up my entertainment news only to find out Paris has been released from jail after only serving 3 full days!

I was already pissed enough when I found out the bitch wouldn't have to spend her full 40+ days... my annoyance was deepened when they told us they didn't remove her hair extensions like all other women have to do because hers were so deeply attached.. whatever.
But now the BitchWhoreSKANK is going to serve the rest of her time under Mansion Arrest?

GIVE ME A BREAK! Health concerns? WHAT she couldn't handle the Sidekick shakes??
Another example of some stupid ass rich chick celebrity getting off. I'd like to blame the blondeness but I don't think Michelle Rodriguez paid her debt to society for very long either (1 day only I think).

I just for whatever reason, LOVE to HATE this BitchWhoreSKANK. (Not to be confused with my #1 Bitch Slap. I don't love her in any way shape or form.) I just hate the way she is trying to pretend she's changing her ways while trotting around town with the Bible in hand... front cover conveniently turned out. I hate the way she claims she is still a great Role Model for young girls. It disgusts. Just admit that you are the BitchWhoreSKANK that you are so we can cut the pretense.

I've got to hand it to her though... The bitch knows how to take a mugshot...

EDIT: Sweet. BitchWhoreSKANK is going back. She'll be out on bail next Monday, but it was all worth it to see her waililng. The picture is absolutely gold. The sad thing is.. she just won't get it. Her parents won't get it. It's everyone else being unfair. But they won't understand that people are crying for her blood because she is so oblivious to her privilege. Will she do a PSA against drunk driving? Will she pursue other, more philanthropic, endeavors? Pursue a real career? ...

And I still don't think the SideKick Shakes count as any sort of deteroiating medical condition. The sheriff was sucked in by her manipulation just like everyone else around her. The judge is the only one who sees through her bullshit. And when she realized her sob story wasn't going to get her out of this, all she could do is cry out for Mommy. I mean, c'mon, she thought she could TELECONFERENCE her appearance before the judge????? And THAT wouldn't be preferential treatment?

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Hazardous Work

I have issues with public bathrooms. Actually, I have issues with most bathrooms that are not my own. .... Unless there is an urgent bowel need, I will avoid dropping the kids off out in public at all costs. Not the ballpark bathroom, not the airport bathroom, not the restaurant bathroom, not the shopping mall bathroom, not even the office bathroom. When travelling, it even takes me a day or two to warm up to the hotel bathroom. Once, I missed a whole college lecture because I had to go 10 minutes into the lecture; but once in the bathroom, got stage fright and was stuck there for a good 40 minutes. Good times....

Well, now I have another anecdote to add to my already gem-filled vault.
Nature called last week near the end of the work day, and I decided to throw caution to the wind and do the deuce on company time. ... Slowgoing as there was a fair bit of traffic coming in and out of the ladies room (that gives me stage fright too). But just as I was being to relax, a nightmare came to life. The FREAKING FIRE ALARM goes off! And its not a drill. In fact, the incident was reported from the floor below mine. So, ok, all I need is a fireman to come rushing into the bathroom demanding my exit. All I could do was finish my business the best I could and go back to my desk and collect my things.

Unfortunately, by the time I emerged from the bathroom, just about everyone was gone. I walked down alone the 4 flights of stairs only to find a building engineer telling me I had to walk down.

"Walk down another 4 floors?"
"No! Walk DOWN."

OMGWTFBBQ!! I had to walk down 31 flights of stairs! And yes, although it is better than walking UP 31 flights of stairs, have you any idea how your legs would feel by floor 22? In 3 inch heels? No. I did not take off my shoes (they were Aerosoles.. ); at this point, I didn't even want to stop to readjust anything I was wearing or carrying. I just needed OUT. So with my handbag and gymbag in tow, I trudged on. 19.... 18...... 17....... By floor 12 I was feeling my quads shaking. With each step down, my legs felt like jello. Highly unpleasant.
Once I reached the ground floor, the doors were locked and signs instructed me down to the next floor. After a series of doors and drafty corridors I ventured out one last heavy door , wondering somehow if I had ended up in Oakland. But nope, just the receiving dock. I made it out alive, although in tears, still alive. And I didn't even have to use chewing gum and a bobby pin to blow myself out...

The moral of the story kids? A crapper at the office can be hazardous work!