Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Don't Leave Home WIthout Them

As we go through this week with the media's focus on post-Katrina New Orleans, I must salute and wish Bon Voyage to my girl Leslie as she is about to embark down south. I'm sure she will come back with her own firsthand account of what's going on down there. You are an inspiration Leslie.. Go and spread some of our California Love and Godspeed.

And as I continue to do my small part in supporting the amazing work that the SF SPCA does, I was curious to see how the Louisiana SPCA was faring one year on. Reading about the devotion of these individuals and volunteers for helpless animals in the face of such tragedy brought tears to my eyes.

"On August 20, 2006 a pet memorial was held to honor all the animals that lost their lives as a result of Hurricane Katrina. That the memories and aftershocks of Katrina will remain with us for a long time to come is undeniable. It has impacted every facet of life for a community of people and its animals. The response and reaction to the animal tragedies of Katrina has hopefully marked a turning point in how we view and treat our animal companions.
Reflecting on the past year compels us to do no less."

I spoke to "someone who shall remain nameless" yesterday about my fundraising efforts and was posed this question: "Don't you think there are plenty of actual people who could use this help?" Yes, indeed. In this seemingly unfair world of ours, there are charities and non-profits galore to help our fellow man. But for our pets and essentially, family members, if we don't help them? WHO WILL? I know Sake can't vaccinate herself. She can't cook herself dinner. She can't log onto Craigslist to find a new place to live(At least, I don't think she can...). I would like to think that we can show more compassion for our animals then clubbing them to death as a solution. (Yeah Yunnan Province, I'm talking to you!!!)

So until I catch Sake ordering herself kibble on my MAC, I will continue to offer my support to these amazing organizations. I'm thinking of becoming a member of the LA SPCA.

And if you still have any doubts about the bond we have with animals...

Hundreds of pets homeless in New Orleans a year after Katrina

by Mira Oberman Thu Aug 24, 3:24 PM ET
NEW ORLEANS, United States (AFP) - A symphony of barks echoes through the converted warehouse acting as New Orleans' temporary animal shelter a year after Hurricane Katrina separated thousands of pets from their owners.
Most of the animals rescued after 80 percent of the city was flooded have found their way back to their owners or to new homes across the country.But the city's only animal shelter - which operates out of an old coffee warehouse without air conditioning or drainage - is still full of hundreds of pets awaiting adoption.

Some are strays found wandering through the rubble of abandoned homes. Others were given up by owners unable to care for them because of the stress of living in tiny trailers while they rebuild their homes, among other reasons.

"People are still getting their lives together," explained Gloria Dauphin, the assistant director of the Louisiana Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA). "Housing is a big, big issue and renting with an animal is next to impossible."
Tails wagging and tongues lagging, the dogs follow people walking by the rows of cages with bright eyes, yipping and begging for some attention. Cats meow and stick their paws through the bars, ready to play and purring at the scratch of an ear.

Between 2,000 and 3,000 animals died in the floods or in the hot, lonely days after evacuees were barred from taking their pets or returning to find them.

"So many people would not leave because the government came to rescue the people and left the pets behind," said Wayne Pacelle, president of the Humane Society of the United States. There was an incredible drama that played out and a recognition that an incredible bond exists between people and their animals, and if you fail to account for that bond your work is going to be undermined."

Animal rescue workers found their efforts stymied when they were barred from entering the city until a week after the storm hit. They paddled through floodwaters and broke into houses to rescue the pets of people who thought they would only be gone two or three days. Animals barred from evacuation buses were picked up on the streets as they rooted through garbage in search of food. About 16,000 pets were rescued and shipped to shelters across the country. Only 15 to 20 percent were eventually reunited with their owners. A lack of proper identification and technology to handle such a huge project slowed the reunion process, as did the time it took evacuees to find suitable housing.

A couple dozen families have since sued aid agencies because the new owners of their pets would not return them.

Pacelle said there a strong moral and legal case to be made that the animals should be returned to their original owners, but that the shelters could not house the pets indefinitely while waiting for owners to track them down. Seven states and the federal government have since passed laws ensuring that evacuation plans include pets, and some of those laws have even provided funds for pet-friendly shelters. Animal shelters across the country have contacted the Louisiana SPCA to get a copy of its evacuation plan, which managed to safely evacuate 263 animals ahead of the storm. That foresight saved their lives: when the shelter's staff was finally allowed to return they found the shelter swamped with eight feet of water, Dauphin said.

The SPCA is currently raising funds for a new 17 million dollar facility slated to open in January."

Sunday, August 27, 2006


Things I have learned are troublesome, if not outright impossible, to do with one hand:

Buttering Toast
Putting on a bra (ALERT! Front clasps! HUZZAH!!)
Opening Gatorade
Sweeping the stairs
Parallel parking
Hanging up clothes in an overpacked closet
Washing the dog
Changing my bedsheets
Shaving my right armpit
Lifting my September issue of Vogue, aka "The Bible"

I see the Dr. on Thursday. I can only assume/pray this is also the day the bandages come off. I'm not sure how many showers I can take with my hand in a plastic bag. It's cramping my style. .. D has taken to calling it The Third Wheel, amongst other things..

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hump Day

In the second time in less than 3 years, I went in for outpatient surgery. (The first time for my foot.) My ganglion cyst had made a reappearance (See March 1, 2006) and it was time to say goodbye once and for all.

So here I am, typing with one hand, feeling my hair get greasy. Waiting for Project Runway. Waiting for my vicodin. Nice hump day.

Monday, August 21, 2006

At the Movies

Is there anyone else out there willing to admit that they've watched Siskel & Ebert since the days of Public Television? My love for movies is no secret; but I must admit that my burgeoning eye for film was influenced by these two movie critics. They introduced me to Merchant/Ivory films when I was 17 and now A Room With a View is pretty much my all time favorite movie. (If no one has googled my quote yet.. well.. ok.. now you know where its from.)

Through the years I didn't rely so much on their actual Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ratings, but their eye and how each brought their perspective to film. They were the first to help me understand how film can be art, how it can transcend it's celluloid form, and how a cinematographer can make Julia Roberts look good. But they also reminded me that sometimes, eh, you just like what you like. I was indeed sad to see Gene Siskel pass, and with Roger Ebert hospital bound for the last 2 months, I thought At the Movies were numbered. Nothing personal against Richard Roeper, but really, who cares about him?

But here's where it gets interesting... good friend(Ebert's, not mine!) Jay Leno has stepped in as guest critic. And one of my favorites, Kevin Smith, recently made an appearance. You might think that 2 people that are so immersed in show business already couldn't possibly give coherent unjaded critiques of movies.

But here are 2 people who loves movies, who know their movies. Watching Kevin Smith rhapsodize about his Thumbs Up picks for the week reminded me how much I too love film. And how much I've fallen behind. They definitely don't make it easy to sneak out for a movie here in San Francisco. My 185+ movies queued on Netflix can attest to that.

I hope to fit the following current releasees somehow, someway:
Little Miss Sunshine (GREAT cast, n'est pas?)
Half Nelson(Stellar reviews. And Gosling is brilliant; The Notebook notwithstanding... lol!)
THE ILLUSIONIST!!! (C'mon, if you know me, you'd know this is right up my alley. And no E, this will NOT make your powers come out.)
World Trade Center (Sure, It's a 10-Hanky; but it's an UPLIFTING 10-hanky.)
Trust the Man(because I have a softspot for Mulder... I mean, David Duchovny.)

What's on your list? And when are we going???

Friday, August 18, 2006

Psycho Sake Stalker Speechless

I needed some lightness and froth; a break from the Psycho Sake Stalker. But I must finish this little saga, as I know you are all waiting with bated breath. Ha!

Tuesday afternoon rolled around with still no word from Lt Tisdale. Erica's and my frustrations were mounting. Does Animal Care and Control really STILL need to see our dog? Did they really have the right to take the dog if there was ANY suspicion at all? Do the field officers even check their voicemail? The office and the dispatch seemed so frayed each time they answered the phone, you would think there were rottweilers, pitbulls, and kimodo dragons running amok on every San Francisco street corner! (In comparion, Erica said the Contra Costa County Animal Control offices were closed on Sunday and Monday.).. I finally called one last time to reach the Lieutenant's superiors. "That would be Vicki B. But she's out sick today." Ok, how about her superior? "That would be Kat B." Kat B? The Deputy Director? Yeah, I'll talk to her.

Here is a shoutout to Kat Brown for spending the time with me and listening to my story. I gave her all the info I had to prove Sake was our Little Pooper Scooper and she said, "Well, this seems sufficient to me. I don't think we're going to need to see your dog." HUzzaH!! "I'm sorry for the confusion. We'll have this wrapped up for you first thing tomorrow once I confirm with the Lieutenant."

And so, according to the City, this case is closed. The complaint was without merit. I was told by Lt. Tisdale that Sake Stalker seemed a little heartbroken that we were able to show proof. "She didn't know what to say." And I guess I would be the same if I was so sure of myself. *sigh* I'm sorry Diana. I'm sorry for your loss. But I'm not sorry I filed a police report against your highly suspicious psycho behavior. And now that we have proved our case, if I ever see you near my street or hear that you were on my street, it will be Restraining Order City for you.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

"Make It Work"

I've had this post cooking since last week... but as you may have noticed, I got .. um.. sidetracked. .. Yeah.

Summer TV usually means rehashes of the sitcoms you never watched in the first place anyway. (Not you "How I Met Your Mother"! I'm so not talking about you!) Thank goodness for the sleeper hit Project Runway. Going into its third season with Emmy nominations under its fashion belt it's really not such a sleeper anymore.

5 weeks in I'm going to go out on a limb and name my favorites right now.
Michael Knight: 3 words: Fucking Fierce. I loved his coffee filter dress from Week 1. And when he got to reinvent Pam "Motherfuckin" Grier, wowzah. He's humble, he's got a great attitude, and He's Got the Goods. 2 wins Back to Back? Get the f*ck out.

Jeffrey Sebilia: Sure he's prickish. But he's a prick in a deconstructed genius kind of a way. I am obsessed with that tattoo on his neck. And his trompe l'oeil belt this week will be his piece de resistance of the season.

Uli.. what's her name: Her accent is adorable. "Fashion people don't recycle.." She, too, has vision. None of it is necessarily my taste.. but I predict the Top 3 for her too.

Robert Best: This Barbie designer won't make the Top 3; in fact I think it's a matter of time before he goes. But I love his personality and just like having him around. "My dress actually looked like a cocktail dress. Albeit a cheap tacky cocktail dress a hooker might wear , but still a cocktail dress."

Laura Bennett: Mother of 5. Impeccable workmanship; but ultimatley a bore, a snore, and will add no new vision of anything whatsoever to the fashion world. Says Jeffrey about Laura.."Another high waisted skirt... .... ..... F*ck!"

Keith Michael: Forever known as The Cheat. Sorry you had to go because you had some beautiful pieces. But as Tim said, "Rules are rules. You leave tonight."

Vincent Libretti: I often feel you're deluded; and you're going to regret cashing in your 401K.....

Angela Keslar: She's from Amesville, Ohio, and it shows.

Stacey Estrella: From San Francisco. w00t! Gets kicked off first week. -DOH!

Another prediction? Martha Stewart will be the "Everyday" woman Heidi is referring to in next week's preview.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

And the Plot(Such As It Is).. Thickens...

Lieutenant T, Field Officer of the SF Animal Care & Control, has picked up all the paperwork from my mailbox. All she did was leave a note stating, "Missed 9:30 appointment. Picked up packet. Still need to see your dog."

I have left her 2 voicemails and she has not called me back. She's a f*cking whore. (Sorry! I'm sorry!.. I just hate all these people right now!) We found out from a person at the Animal Care office that if the Field Officer feels that the dog has been harmed in any way, or if they think it's the missing dog, they can get the bigass leash from their car and take Sake away. It's their call. .. Does anyone know of a lawyer that can answer some questions????

On the other end, I filed a "suspicious occurence" report against Diana H., the woman who is accusing me. I can't file anything else because technically, she hasn't done anything illegal... yet... ... that I know of......

Well two can play that game...Through modern technology, I was able to figure out that she teaches a Sunday morning kickboxing class at an SF gym. And GUESS WHAT?? My friend S(the kickass instructor/trainer) knows her!!! GET OUT!! We've all said it once, we've said it a gazillion times; San Francisco may be population 750,000-ish, but it's a SMALL f*cking town. So yeah, S said to me.. "You know what? You're right. I do remember her saying she lost her dog a few months ago.. Ugh.. I always thought that b*tch was crazy."

Well yes indeed I second that motion! Could it be she has suffered from a psychotic break? Afterall, I'm sure her dog can't give the camera SexyBack like Sake can.


Monday, August 14, 2006


I know I've got some Random Acts of Kindness stories to post. But it's my blog so I take precedence.
You see, on July 5th, I took the day off to recover from the cupcake overload. Normally I go running with a girlfriend along the Embarcadero and this Wednesday was no different. Except since I was leaving from home, and not work... I took little Sake with me.As we slowed down our run, right in front of the ferry buildling, a woman stopped and asked if she could pet Sake. No worries, Sake is sooo adorable; everyone wants to pet her!Well, this Psycho Beyotch proceeded to tell me she "lost" her dog a month and a half ago. And her dog looked EXACTLY like Sake. Did I get her as gift? And yeah. She was basically accusing me of having her stolen dog. I told her I was sorry about her dog... but my baby has been with my family for 2 Christmases now. Oh and nevermind, Sake is showing not one little hint of recognition of this Psycho! So she's mistaken. I grabbed on to Sake's leash and we walked away. A car had been waiting for her, and she hopped in.

I told her story to my family and some friends but thought nothing more of it until this weekend. My neighbor told me a woman had knocked on his door this past Monday, asking about me. Asking about Sake. Seems she followed me that first day and either got my address off my license plate #, or she followed me all the way home. Unbeknownst to oblivous me, she has been skulking about snooping. Chills ran down my arm... and David and I agreed I should probably go file a report to the police.Today, Sake and I spent the afternoon shopping and upon my return, I had a note on my door from the SF Dept of Animal Care and Control. I got the officer on the phone and she said, well there has been a complaint about your dog and I need to meet with you. (BTW, this Lt is a complete fucking bitch.)
"What is the complaint Lt?"
"Well, I 'm pretty sure you know that there is a woman who claims you have her missing dog. And she has filed a report with us and the SFPD."

So, yes. Now we're pulling all Sake's paperwork, vaccinations, puppy pictures... to prove she indeed belongs to our family. I've been on the phone with my sister, my D, my father, in tears. Not because I think there's a chance of Sake not being mine, but because.. oh shit.. I don't know why!! That this CRAZY woman is so overcome with grief that she can go around accusing others of some a horrible crime! Based on one encounter! As I told the Animal Control lady,
"Frankly, I am about to go file a police report of my own. I find it quite disturbing this woman has followed me to my home and violated my privacy."
"Well I would probably do the same thing if I thought it was my dog.
""Well it's not. And I would report you to the police too."
I am upset. I'm scared. To think she would want to take away my little Sake To Me that I have loved for 2 years! (And yes. I put a pair of sunglasses on her, wrapped her up in blankets, and stowed her away on board Air Force One.) I'm headed to SFPD in a few minutes to see what I can do about filing a report.

Note to self: Pick up some mace.

Friday, August 11, 2006

And the Battle Rages On

Under the watchful eye of the Full Moon, a small group of us gathered Wednesday night to partake in the age-old Battle of the Sexes.

Our lovely hostess, Linda, made sure we were comfortable with our wine and beer (and Pep.Pizza!) and after that the Game Was Afoot! It did not initially bode well for the Ladies as we weren’t able to decide if Asteroids or Meteors were chunks of crap in space. After that we were backhanded with Baseball and NYSE questions. Meanwhile, the Men were able to move ahead on the board with their knowledge of blind stitches and movie musicals. But all was not easy sailing for them as they had to answer this little gem of mine:
“What is ‘twall?”
Lane: “Hmmm. Can you use it in a sentence?”
Row: “Yes. What is ‘twall?”

EDIT: This was literally how the game spelled the term. None of the Ladies knew what it was either.. Until Leslie pointed out recently that it is probably TOILE, spelled phonetically. Which of course, ALL us Ladies know TOILE is a France(French?)-originated fabric/decorating pattern consisting of a white or off-white background with a repeated pattern depicting a fairly complex, generally pastoral scene, usually black, dark red, or blue.

And really, seriously... how CUTE are these boots??????????

But I digress.....

We even thought we had them when the Men almost confirmed that Ricky Martinez was the MTV Star who sang Livin’ La Vida Loca! Alas, they were still able to capture one of our players and forge ahead. (I mean honestly, who can really name all 3 of Donald Trump’s books??)

The Ladies put up a good fight with Linda’s knowledge of the 13th Amendment, and my movie trivia database. As the moon continued to rise, and Lane’s eyelids continued to fall, I managed to save the whole lot of us any more heartache by drawing the greatest Wild Card: “You have been asked on a date by Tom Cruise. You decline. Advance to the end of the game.” THANK YOU EVERYBODY!! GOOD NIGHT!

And so the first officially sanctioned Battle of the Sexes ended. I learned Bill Russell was the first Black Coach of the NBA. But I already knew that we are an incredibly competitive bunch! So here’s to the next Battle of the Sexes. BRING IT ON!!!!!!

PS. I am soooo getting this version:

Monday, August 07, 2006

Something's in the Water

Just chilling here, after a mundane Monday, with my pecan-crusted salmon; and I'm watching a rerunof Iconoclasts: Newman and Redford. Now, I have pretty much always felt this way.. but I just want to state for the record, I loves me some Paul Newman. Robert is n- OH MY GOD!!!

My sister just called me, a three-way call with my cousin in SoCal:

Everybody: Hi!!

M: I saw your website for the Doggone Fun Run!

Rowdeezy: Yeah! Are you gonna pledge!

Sis: If you do, pledge to Dad's page. He's only got $15.

M: He's doing the walk?

Rowdeezy: Yeah, we needed 5 members to officially be a team. So I signed mom and dad up.

M: Oh! So I could sign up! And Jason P. can sign up. And so can Baby P!

Rowdeezy: *pause* Did you just spill the beans??!!!

M: *laughs* Yep!

Rowdeezy: Awwww!! Oh my god that's so awesome! I just find out today that someone else at work is pregnant too! Must be something in the water!

Sis: Oh yeah? What if I told you I was too?

Rowdeezy: Shut up! That would just be too much!

Sis: But what if I was?

Rowdeezy: I would have to hang up. That's just far too overwhelming!

Sis: Well, you better not! Cuz I am!

Everybody: *crying*

Sis: And I'm due on your birthday!

Rowdeezy: Oooooohh! *cries some more*

How's that for a slam bang phone call!!! Except, my mobile dropped the phone call. So now they really do think I hung up on them!
Gotta go!

SkankNasty Ho

Oh Good Gravy. What is WRONG with this girl?
I guess if you're going to practice abstinence for a year, you've got to release your cootch and buttcheeks any way you can.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Children's Book

So I'm thinking about writing a series of children's books..... The First in the series?

Sake and the Golden Gate!

Any plot suggestions??

Edit: I have also already determined that the Second Book in the Series will be Sake and the Meat Lasagna .