Wake Up!!!

I need an alarm clock that'll really get me going in the morning. How effective do you think these would be?

Jigsaw Puzzle Alarm Clock


Classic, modern style. Smooth, refined form. Oh, and possibly the most obnoxious feature set possible in an alarm clock (aside from a clock that actually flees away from you): You must complete a jigsaw puzzle to deactivate the alarm. No cord to cut, since it’s battery operated, and “recommended for ages 3 or over”—really, anyone old enough to wield a hammer.
Catalog Page [LatestBuyAU via RedFerret]

When you hit Clocky’s snooze button, he will roll off of the nightstand, fall to the floor, and run around the room, searching for a place to hide. When the alarm sounds again, you have to get out of bed to find it and turn it off. He finds a new spot everyday, “kind of like a hide-and-seek game”.

Overheard

Row: I can't believe I "lost" an entire DVD player...!
Bro: Just get one from Mom's house.
Row: Mom has an extra DVD player laying around the house?
Bro: Mom has an extra everything laying around the house.

---

At my birthday dinner:

M: So I had an unsuccessful booty call last week.
Row: Don't believe it. How is that possible?
M: Well, I called him and he said he was busy and wanted to raincheck.
Row: *gasp* Who turns down booty?
M: Yeah. I was so pissed. I just said "whatever.." and hung up.
T: Wait a minute. So you gave him Booti-tude?
D: Has that made it onto urbandictionary.com ??
Row: Oh that is sooo going on my blog!

---

Row: I think we spend far more time In here than we do Out.

Bravo TV: Blow by Blow

10:55pm ********* Project Runway. I've been waiting to find out the winner... I can't believe I'm really actually nervous about who will win! My girl Chloe is in the Top 3; I put my money on her from the start that she would get to show at Olympus Fashon Week.


*gnawing fingernails* OMG. Seriously. I can't handle the stress!


10:58pm ********** Holy sh$t. I am totally crying! She won! She won! She is the next great Amercian Designer! That's my girl!! Beautiful collection. All her clothes looked soooo hot on the women. And a great cohesive collection with a point of view.

11:07pm ********** Ok. so Top Chef is on now. Despite being a foodie, I initially had no interest in seeing this show. But. Whoa. What did I spy? Telegraph Hill? This fucking show takes place in San Francisco!!! Now I HAVE to watch it. These guys have to work the line at Fleur De Lys! They're not horsing around. This is a SF institution!!!! I've actually met Hubert Keller dining there one night. Damnit. I don't have time to add another show to the rotation but now my hands are tied..

11:20pm********** Damn. My city is gorgeous.

Brave Face

My family was greeted by some sad news Sunday evening. A dear and old friend had passed away from a year long battle with lung cancer. And although our minds tell us that she is in a better place now, free from pain; our hearts tell us that we are saddened by her absence and by her family's pain.
My mother, who is the stoic one of the family, has tried to put on a brave face; but I know she is filled with grief. Afterall, this was The Friend. Y'know, the one who knows everything that'll make you laugh. The one who knew you before you were someone's wife, before you were so and so's mother, and before you were too jaded and weary to do something crazy and reckless. I am glad my mother was able to return to Hong Kong last month for one last visit. Strange isn't it? To see someone, and know it is the last time you will smile and see each other's face. Shirley Auntie was (yikes, I'm using "was".)beautiful, smart, funny, gracious, classy, down-to-earth, and caring; and you think , Why Her? But most of all, she made my mother happy and for that I will forever love her for.

My very deepest condolesces to the Wong Family. We too are pained and send you our love.....

Ocsars for Everyone!

So I guess the Academy decided to share the wealth this year with 3 Oscars each for Brokeback, Crash, King Kong, and Geisha. What? You didn't get one?? What a loooooser!
Big w00t goes to Ang Lee for the first Asian to win a director's award(or other major Oscar for that matter.) I love how he gives shoutouts to the Motherland in Chinese in his acceptance speeches. It makes me cry everytime. But who told him that the "I wish I knew how to quit you" joke would be funny??
>

And I'm going to go with the insider theory that the academy robbed Brokeback Mountain of the Best Picture award with Crash. I enjoyed Crash but overall found it simplistic, manipulative, and obvious. And as defamer.com so aptly put it, it's a movie that was filmed in LA, with LA actors, financed by LA money. Big shock who the academy would ultimately vote for. Yes. I'm bitter. When are they going to let people who spent hard-earned money paying full price to the movies get to vote??


So happy to see Reese win for her superb performance in an actually mediocre film. But did anyone else think this was just too much dress for a such a petite woman?

And oh.. Clooney. *sigh* As the girls say on Sex and the City, "Clooney is like a Chanel Suit; he never goes out of style.." w00t for you George!

Indeed... So nice, let's see him twice....

And I dub thee..... Hottest New Male on the Red Carpet.....



Which one of the ladies wowed me? Well, it certainly wasn't Keira. The Vera Wang had a little too much mermaid/fishtail for my taste. And what's with the I'm-going-to-Junior-Prom ponytail with the bits hanging down?

It could've been Jessica Alba. I don't know what on earth she has to do with the Oscars, but who cares right? The hair is fabulous. And if you're hot, you can rarely go wrong with Versace; although her bust area is a little too squished down and awkward to strike a perfect 10 for me.

It could even also be Zhang Ziyi. I loved this black and white Armani number.. except... oh hey.. Molly Ringwald called. She wants her choker back.

Also rocking some basic black for the evening was another standout. Felicity Huffman? Perhaps she is keen to shed the I-played-a-man-wanting-to-be-woman image, but w00t on the skin baring Zac Posen dress! And look at those arms! Whoooaaa Flicka!

But Felicity seems an amateur to this woman. Many of you are already aware of my Uma infatuation. But how do you argue with this? Who works a nude/fleshtone frock(Atelier Versace) better than her? The coloring, the hair, the smoky eyes? I was WOWed.

Personally, I think she has redeemed herself for the Lacroix debacle of 2004...

That's it until next year folks.. I'm spent...

Who's the Birthday Boy????

Yo Shorty!! It's Your Birthday! We gonna party like it's yo birthday! We gon-" Oh wait dude.. You're tall!!


Nonetheless, you've got birthday wishes coming your way Baby Brother!!! Seems I never see you anymore, I mean... I don't even know what blockbuster's are coming out this summer! I have a calendar to plan you know!

Despite all my jokes and all the ribbing, I am quite often very proud of you, and wish I could give you the world. Thanks for being there when I had that meltdown on Half-Dome. Thanks for introducing us to Blokum( I don't even know 'em!). Thanks for laughing along with your crazy sister. *muah!* I love you...

The Birthday Miracle

It's gone!  It's gone! My deformity is gone!

I remember clearly I still had it yesterday.  (I had grown quite accustomed to my ganglion cyst's presence.  At meetings I would stroke it like a pet cat.  *cue Dr. Evil voice*  "Yess...  Tell me more..." ) But today, while discussing my upcoming surgery with a co-worker, I looked down, and it was gone.  No lovely lady lumps to be found!  My wrist is a little swollen and slightly tender, but really none worse for the wear. 
It's disappearance has ellicited quite a variety of responses...

Dad: Are you sure it just didn't move somewhere else?
E:  Omygosh.  That just doesn't sound right!
D: Wow..  *pause* Do you miss it?
Co-worker:  *gasp*!!!  It's your Birthday Miracle!!!
Dr's Office:  If you want it to come back, you could try doing something repetively with your hand."    (uuuhhh.... yeeaaahhh.....)

Hey. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times.... Strangely enough, it all turns out well!!

Guam Guam Bo Buam

Here I am. Guam. This is my hotel. Now don't hate because this is a glorified picture they took for their website. And my co-worker is experiencing an ant problem(We're on the 18th floor! How did they get up here??) and there is a faint hint of mold/mustiness throughout the building. On the plus side, there's a Starbucks in the building. On the downside it costs $4 for a cup of coffee and who wants hot coffee when the air is thick as gelato anyway?

And did you know? Broadcast television here runs about a week late? Weird.

Just arrived yesterday and right now it's too early to sleep. But I refuse to do any more Sudoku. I finished 5 puzzles on the plane and I'm a bit Sudoku'd out for now.

Crushing

Have a Lovely Valentine's Day Loverlies! Or... if you're feeling sensitive about it, Happy Tuesday!!!! (That works too right?)

I have actually received 3 Valentine's in the mail!! Wow! I have some kickass friends! And lo!! Someone is crushing on me! Yep! Someone's got a Girl Crush on me and sent me one of the most awesome Valentine's EVER!!! (You rock and I hope to ride in your convertible one day. ) .. Girl Crushes. I must admit I've had Girl Crushes too. Are women more open to that idea? I'm not a lesbian, I actually have no inclination to get all "Girls Gone Wild" with any woman, but .. there are certain women I have met that somehow fascinate me. Where I find them attractive, smart, beautiful(inside and out) and I just can't stop admiring them. I don't want to sleep with them.. but I probably want to touch their skin a little! hahaha! Who are YOUR Girl Crushes?? And guys! Step up! Are you capable of having man crushes? You know.. when someone's like your new best buddy for whatever miscellaneous reasons. Like when Diddy and Ashton Kutcher were hanging out?

Not So Cheap Thrills

Aaaah.. Agent Provocateur has finally made it to San Francisco. Fine purveyor of hot(and expensive!) lingerie. Just in time for Valentine's Day. Men. Start your engines.....
(I've been in the video mood... so you best to stop/pause the rap video from my post below that may be conflicting with Kylie. Cuz we don't want anything to conflict with Kylie do we?)

Bonjourno Turino!

I know it's not "cool".. but I'm a dork and I'm a sucker for the Olympics(Winter, Summer, it doesn't matter). Maybe it's because I still see myself as a non-athlete (ok.. maybe they'd let me into the Gimp Olympics or something.) that I marvel at the idea of athletes around the world coming together for competition.

Oh and I know there's all the corporate sponsors and the nationalistic bullshit and US networks only show US athletes , blah blah blah. I don't care. When I see those kids on the podium watching their flag go up, my tears well up. It's a simple, pure moment for me that makes me cry.

And the Opening Ceremonies?? Fogeddaboutit!! Ali lighting the torch?? The Afghanistan Delegates walking into Greece 2 years ago(I cried). And I always whoop and holler for the country who is only able to send one athlete. And man! Is he/she happy to be there! C'mon!!! That's good stuff!!!!

Who remembers Freddy the Eagle who sucked so bad at the ski jump that he turned into a crowd pleaser? The unknown Midori Ito nailing her skate routine knowing she had no chance at medaling but everyone knew her name for sure after that. And of course, the Jamaican Bobsledding team??! That's why I watch the Olympics. ... Plus Bode Miller is kinda hot.

<- Hmmm. Not thrilled about the official "mascots" though. WTF is it???

East Coast vs. West Coast

I won't bore you with the Chronic Rap video that's been spreading like wildfire. But in the great tradition of Coastal Rap Battles, I introduce to you .. Color Me Mine.



To check out the original throwdown, head over to http://narniarapbattle.com/. Why are Jew Boys such good rappers? ....

Fashion Week

So NY Fashion Week is in full swing. *sigh*  I wish I could be a part of the frenzy!  I was a fashionista once...  back when the words "discretionary income" still had meaning.  But as I grew older, and "responsible spending" entered my vocabulary, I slacked.  It was also just too tiring to try and keep up with who's who and who designed what and what sillhouette was THE silhouette for Fall.

But deep down I can't deny it. .  You and I both know I love Fashion...  I love clothes. I love to see the craft, the art, and how it can be translated into something functionable and wearable. It's also why I love Project Runway and I credit this show for igniting my love for Fashion again.   These are 4 looks from the winner of last season.. Jay McCarroll.  Fag Hag-speak dictates that I say: Bitch.  You better fucking WORK!.  Look beyond the color coordinated headphones (FIERCE!) and the pieces are wearable but different and original.  I was very happy to see he won.  Hopefully he can really do something with this opportunity.

Here's to dreaming my little dream one day to own my own boutique.  And have an excuse to go to Fashion Week...

On the Homefront

I have finally cleared off the couch and I have cable. But my dining area still looks like refugee center and my bedroom looks like a contender for a homemakeover show. I am just about ready to chuck it all over the rail.... I still haven't found the upload cord for my camera so the pics I took of the front yard will have to wait. HOWEVER, I do have pics of the monstrosities that the seller oh so inconveniently left behind for me to take care of.

Here's the armoire that he swore he tried to sell to no avail. I listed it on Craigslist and was deluged by phone calls in a matter of hours.
I finally sold it to a restaurant owner in Point Reyes for $250(Craigslist been bely bely good to me). It took 4 grown men to come take it away.

This bit of architectural delight is a VERY HEAVY column used as a base for the glass table top.
I cannot explain to you the level of disgust I get when I have to look at this. If it wasn't the weight of an elephant, I would consider chucking it over the side of the deck. Yes. You get a small bit of my deck and the amazing view I have of San Francisco. (I swear, you WILL see photos eventually!) And please, this photo was taken before the contractors finished so please cut me some slack on the tidiness front. But back to my Ode to a Grecian Column... When I posted it on CL, buyers wanted only the glass top. And when I said it was all or nothing, they chose nothing. Bastards. Any other ideas?
**********************************
I got hits today from people who googled.. "what does toss her salad mean"? and "what does it mean to toss someone's salad" bwahahahahahhhahahaha. Evidently I was not the only one in the dark on that one.

City Livin'

So I spent last Friday night narrowly escaping death. After an early evening of Happy Hour at Jade, Lane, Linda, Daryl and I were strolling Hayes Valley trying to decide on a restaurant for dinner. We stood at the corner debating and I actually was pushing for Cafe Delle Stelle. Just as we were about to make a decision and crossing the sheet, we heard the screeching of brakes. And 15 seconds later we stood gaping at the buick lodged into the corner of Cafe Delle Stelle. When 3 guys jumped out of the car despite the presence of a motorcycle cop, Lane quite calmly came to his wits and said.. "Run Run. They could start shooting!" So we started booking down the street. "Wait," Linda said. * huff huff* "We're going to look guilty!" To which I replied, "I'm holding a bag from the Disney Store! *huff huff* I think we're ok!"

But alls well that ends well. We headed back to the scene and Looky Lou'd for a bit longer before settling down at dinner and a bottle of Sangoviese at Citizen Cake... It's good to be back in the Citay!!!


Car chase ends in restaurant crash -- 3 injured
Cicero A. Estrella/SF Chronicle
Saturday, January 28, 2006

Three people were injured after a high-speed chase between two vehicles involved in an accident ended with one of the cars crashing into a Hayes Valley restaurant Friday, according to San Francisco police.

The crashed car, a white Buick, went out of control at the intersection of Hayes and Gough streets, jumped the southeast corner curb and struck two pedestrians before plowing into the Cafe delle Stelle at 395 Hayes St., Lt. Frank Lee said. Three men, including the driver, abandoned the car and fled on foot. They left behind a passenger, a woman who was also injured in the crash.

Lee said the pedestrians, both men, and the passenger were taken to San Francisco General Hospital. He said they were in stable condition.

The accident occurred about 8:30 p.m., shortly after the Buick was involved in a crash with a silver Pontiac at Oak and Webster streets. The Buick fled the scene, but it was followed by the other vehicle, whose driver called 911.

The vehicles were traveling east on Hayes Street when the Buick's driver lost control of his car after hitting a westbound black Honda, which was trying to make a left turn onto Gough Street, Lee said.

He said the men in the Buick were last seen running east on Market Street.

Isn't It Ironic?

It has not gone unnoticed that we spent this past Christmas and now, Chinese New Year without my folks around. Ironic since my father had what he considered his near-death experience. You'd think he'd want some quality time. Oh well. It's probably better this way..... It's just that Erica and I don't really know what we're doing. I just know... don't sweep on New Year's Day... and put away away the knives.

Which is pretty much tantamount to... no cleaning and no cooking. Hey! Sounds good to me!

Home Sweet Home

Oh my gad!! Three days without the internet, and without a TV. By last night, I was starting to get the shakes! Thank god for my laptop, I at least had my music and DVD capability.
The movers were none too pleased by the steep set of stairs leading up to my Condo; in fact, I'm pretty sure they called me a bunch of bad names in Mandarin. But I pretended I didn't understand. Cuz I'm slick like that.
Right now I can't walk anywhere in the place without dodging a box or a bag of Styrofoam. In fact, it took me close to an hour to make breakfast yesterday. I had to look through 6 boxes just to find a skillet and we had to use Kero Keroppi forks. Oh, and I never did find the coffee mugs.
But I've woken up to a beautiful view of the morning sun and the City Skyline and D even helped me do a little gardening yesterday. I learned to identify the knotweed! "Oh. Those are weeds? I thought it belonged there..."

On a different note, Amazing Race casting call went alright I guess. Without planning to, Erica and I wore the same jcrew jacket, jeans, and our Uggs(but in different colors). So as part of the tape, we took the jackets off to show that at least we had differing tops on. Y'know, we're the same, but different! My TV career is now in the hands of the producers. But I can say, at least we tried out.

This Week's To Do List:

• Expense report for Makeup Samples
• Go over review with Boss at 4pm. Hope she doesn't mention my internet/blog usage.
• Move into new Condo. w00t!!
• Unpack. Boo.
• Vendor meeting with L'Oreal. Make reservations for lunch. > One Market
• Open Casting Call for Amazing Race. Come up with "angle".
• Conference Call today at 5pm. (Try not to fall asleep.)
• List of work stuff 25 items too long(too boring to list)
• Order a new couch.
• Purge stress (ie. Sit down in private place and cry.)
• See my honey.
• Attend get-together at Tom's new bachelor pad. (Don't get too drunk.)
• Quality time with Sake.

Did I forget anything?? Oh yeah...

• Review basic algebra.
• Get a haircut before Chinese New Year.
• Decide on outfit for Casting Call.

UrbanDictionary.com. AKA: Don't Read This If You're Eating Breakfast.

Screw it. This is what I want to be when I grow up:

dinner whore
A girl who is exclusively after a free meal or an expensive gift. She actively seeks out dates with well-off men who will wine and dine her at upscale restaurants. She is usually physically attractive enough to make the man fall for her feminine wiles. She will rarely have sex with these men...

And after some debate at the house the other night, my sister and I were informed Tossing Salad does NOT just mean sex. Wow! You really DO learn something new everyday!
1. tossing salad
the act of placing your tongue in a male or females ass, and probing all around the circumferance of the asshole, while aiding the person in masturbation
I was going to toss Sporty's salad but as I went down he had a dingleberry, so I stopped.
2. tossing salad
Having your salad tossed means having your asshole eaten out with syrup or jelly; syrup is generally preferred. This is usually done as initiation for someone that wants to score some drugs in jail, or by sexually depraved people.
-"Have you seen the new boy in cell block D? I'ma make him my bitch; he'll be tossing salads by the end of the week!"
-"Mary is a freak in bed; last night she tossed my salad!"
3. tossing salad
To lick deep into ones asshole
I was tossing her salad so hard that I was able to tell what she ate for lunch...*chili*
4. tossing salad
licking the corn hole
Bitch! You better toss my salad before I have to smack yo ass.
5. tossing salad
almost like a rim-job. It is having a male or female lick around the asshole.
Man yesterday I tossed this gurls salad and now I have a shit taste in my mouth!
6. tossing salad
the art of eating shit hole
Gosh, I sure do like to toss salad (eat shit hole).
7. tossing salad
Eating asshole. Basically, tossing the salad
Julie likes to toss caesar salad with italian dressing

Oh but don't forget the duck butter!

The Heart of a Hypochondriac

My father is many things (see June 19 post), including a hypochondriac.  My mother likes to avoid doctors at all costs. (Doctor, Jeff Hathaway, 2003) I think I fall somewhere in between. So quite often I end up getting pissed off at both of them for either overreacting and overdosing or avoidance and denial.

Lately my father had been complaining of tightness of the chest. We all thought he was just having anxiety attacks; y'know,cry wolf and all that. But as he was leaving on a month-long trip back to China and Hong Kong, we thought it would give him peace of mind to have it checked out. After 15min of being hooked up to a treadmill not unlike the 6 Million Dollar Man, I think my Dad finally got the answer he was looking for: Something was wrong and he needed a procedure. But, said the cardiologist, it's not dire and if you take these pills you can still go on your trip and have the procedure when you return.  Yeah.  Not likely.  The trip has come to a screeching halt with my mother frantically calling the travel agent. We're shooting to go in next week and have them go in and check things out; and if needed, while they're in there put a splint stent in his artery. 

With his greatest fear come to fruition, he couldn't stop thinking about it.  "This is a turning point in my life!"  and "I can't believe I ran that 5K.  I could've died!"   Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

My sister and I spent 30minutes the other night berating him for putting one foot in the grave already.  He is already thinking the worst and predicts he may need a bypass.  "Your mom is disappointed we're not going to Hong Kong. I can tell.  But it's not worth my life, is it??"   The melodrama has begun...  and I don't know how to deal. 

"Dad!  You've gone from A to Z already!  Can we just take this one step at a time?  What happened to B and C and D?  You are nowhere near death so stop acting like you are!..  You are not only going to have to change your lifestyle, you're going to need to change your outlook and your attitude on life!"  Was I a bad daughter for not showing more sympathy??

---

Fast forward:  he went in for the procedure 18 hours later..  Said my sister, "Wow.  He was going to get on a plane to China   Now he's going into the hospital instead?"  

---

Edit: This is The Procedure.

Well, it turns out my father's front artery was 95% blocked. But a stent was put in and after a sleepless night in ICU, he rested at home comfortably. We knew it was a good sign when he heard he would likely be discharged the next day before Noon.
Dad: "Oh. Good. I'll make it home for football"
R: "There's a game tomorrow Dad? It's Saturday."
Dad: "Oh yes... It's the playoffs."
Mom: "What time is the game?"
Dad: "...One.."
E: "Uh-huh! You're not THAT sick!..
R: Did you talk to your bookie yet? What's the spread?"
Dad: "No. Not yet."
E & R(in unison): "Ok. He's a LITTLE sick."

It was difficult to watch my father in such fear. I tried to get him to relax and keep his thoughts happy and positive. But during his wait and prep time, his fists were often clenched, I had to keep unfurling his fingers. And I could see it in his face as they rolled him away into the surgery room. As much as I wanted to face him with a brave face, I could only react with tears of my own.

I wish I could write in a more eloquent manner about how much my father means to my family. Or about the parent/child relationship. Or even about aging? Or how about mortality itself?
But I can't. So I won't.

Hello 2006. Rowdeezy Reporting for Duty

Fine. Waking up at Noon doesn't quite consitute as reporting for duty, but I think that's just a technicality.
Back to the business at hand. 2005. Finished. Kaput. Personally, I thought I spent much of it constantly looking ahead; trying to forget that beast called 2004 and forging into 2006. But strangely enough, while I was so busy planning for my life in the future, I managed to pull off a couple of cool stunts. Half Dome, Half-Marathon, and Halfway around the world( I touched down in Steamboat Springs, New York, Hong Kong, and Hawaii all in a 2 month span). So, I suppose all was not lost.

This was even one of the best Holiday Seasons I've had in a while(even though this was the first time in years I didn't have my own tree.) In fact, I've racked my brain, but I seriously cannot remember what I did NYE in 2003!! Scary. It was either hellaciously boring or so fucking great that my brain has blocked it so as keep me from being disappointed every year thereafter. Somebody knows! Who was I hanging with? Anyone? Anyone?
The ending of 2005 found me in 1984. Perhaps not my first choice, but I found out just months ago that I have hookup... and guestlist entry on NYE is nothing to scoff at. And besides, premium vodka on the rocks there only cost me $6 a pop. The 80's, now sure I know most of the words to Blister in the Sun and god help me, even Livin' on a Prayer(Hey, no snickers from the peanut gallery!).. but all inhibitions were lost once I ventured into the back room of the Cat Club (you know the cool music is always in "the back room". ) when they played all the cool alternative stuff, including my all time favorite 80's song. A guess ?... Aaah well, when This Charming Man by The Smiths came blaring over the speakers, I lost it. I'm not really sure anymore how one dances to that song.. but last night I didn't care, Dancer's High achieved. And here's another gem.. Sexcrime(1984) by the Eurythmics! Unfortunately, some guy elbowed me while doing his crazy New Wave dancing and I dropped my glass to the ground. And when the glass shattered on the ground, I became That Girl. You know, That Girl. The one who shouldn't be on the dance floor with a drink. But I swear! It was not my fault. The Drag Queens believed me. They reached down and gave me a consoling hug for losing the last drops of my Vanilla on the Rocks. I think they envied my quai-bondage heels. Nooo... I don't think these came in a size 14...

All in all a good night. Not a lick of rain. A fair share of champagne. No City traffic. Sushi dinner. Rowdeezy +3 on the Guest List. Good buzz achieved. This Charming Man. A right handsome desginated driver. No drunk loonies on the freeways. Warm and snuggly in bed by 3am.
HELLO 2006! I hope you and your families had a great passing of the New Year. Much peace and happiness to you all.

Bonanza

The older you get, the fewer number of Christmas presents to tear open. I accept this. I'm fine with it. But it always helps when the few presents you do get are quality.

Here's what I found behind Door #1:

Yep, my very own plant to kill! D claims he Row-proofed it with cactus that would only require pretty much accidental watering. I believe Sis is starting a pool for the date of it's demise. I plan to show my deep appreciation for such a thoughtful gift and prove everyone wrong. But let me know if you want in on the pool!

My nephew, RJ, had a banner year. Being (nearly) 3, he still gets plenty of gifts to open and quickly discard. But yowza! Santa gave him a Cadillac Escalade!! (Note to Santa: I need to take a closer look at that Naughty/Nice list you've got there..) Unfortunately, it rained here on Christmas Day, so his RJ-sized Escalade had its first miles logged indoors in the living and dining room. There were no fatal accidents to report although Willow(the family dog) and I had to make some quick dodges. For the most part, picture Austin Powers and the 87-point turn and you've pretty much got a good picture of what went on.

Someone asked about Sake outfits. Never fear, little Sasa also had a bonanza of a Christmas with lots of new toys, rawhide lollipops, and 2 new outfits. Here she is in her sharp new trenchcoat and in action with her Greenie. She loves her some Greenies!

But yikes! I've just been reading of the dangers of Greenies. I am horrified! Sake loves them! I bought a huge value box just last week! Value Box of Death!.. I was so happy to see her take a nice healthy growler this morning. No intestinal blockage there!

No no no. Don't give me those cute little looks! No more Greenies for you or Willow.

I hope your Christmas and Chanuakkah's and Kwanzaa's *deep breath* and Boxing Days and Festivus were great! Best wishes for the New Year!!!

Potential

I've always loved Christmas Time. Not quite sure why, perhaps it harks back to the Charlie's Angels Hair Care set I got in 6th grade (It had a working battery operated blow dryer!).

Afterall, my family is not Christian. We didn't go to Christmas Mass, my mother didn't spend hours baking in the kitchen, I grew up in San Francisco so there were no white Christmases, I'm not even really sure if I believed in Santa Claus... I think in retrospect, I think I had that figured out sometime around First Grade.

So why then? Do I just love the presents? Do I enjoy the excuse of drunken revelry?

I love thinking about the potential of World Peace. I love the idea of the Christmas miracle. I love settling down and hearing the sounds of Vince Guaraldi as A Charlie Brown Christmas begins. I enjoy seeing the smile on a friend or family members face when they open up the perfect gift. I genuinely love Christmas Songs. I love saying the words Happy Christmas to a stranger.. and meaning it. I love the stimulation of lights, colors, and music (Hard Nut anyone?) I love slowing down to enjoy time together with those closest to me.
But what exactly is the mystical blend that forms the perfect Christmas? Surely it's not just the presence of all the things I listed above. Some years the gifts bring bigger smiles than others. Some years our country is not at war. Some years I hear from more friends than others. Some years close family friends are not terminally ill. Some years I have more love and goodwill to share. Some years are more perfect than others.

But each year the possibility remains. Each year the potential is there. Each year, it could be the Best Christmas Ever.

Here's to wishing you and your family The Best Christmas Ever. I love you and miss you all.

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut

You all should know, I don't do things quite the traditional way. I'm no rulebreaker... but I like to tweak them a bit sometimes. (I know I know.. it was all those Beat Writers I read in High School.)
Despite all the stress and brouhaha, Christmas really is my favorite time of year. And since I was pretty much finished with all my shopping last week, I now can join sit back and enjoy the sights and sounds of the season.

And part of the sight and sound of Christmas will always be The Nutcracker. This year however, I was reminded of the other Nutcracker; so tonight I get to tweak with tradition and see a different interpretation of the iconic ballet. And no, Beetle, it doesn't count as Performance Art, I think I'll be safe.

Row: "Hey... do you get CAL discounts to Zellerbach Hall?"
D: "No. ... What's going on at Zellerbach...?"
Row: "Hehehe.. okay...don't laugh... .... The Hard Nut."
D: "The Hard NUT? ... ?"
Row: "HA! It's Mark Morris' modern take on The Nutcracker. It has nothing to do with Bareback Mountain! "
D: "And... you want me to be your date?"
Row: "Uh.. hello. Yeah!"

From culturevulture.net: "Created in 1991, televised for Dance in America a year later, it premiered in Berkeley, California in 1996 and has returned every year since, the only venue other than New York City for this very large production. This work has all the best qualities of the classic Nutcracker (Tchaikovsky’s music and E.T.A. Hoffman’s plot) with none of the cloying sweetness that generations of balletomanes have grown up with and, in some cases, grown sick of. Transported in time to the swinging era of the ‘60s and played for laughs, The Hard Nut is at once a sendup of conventional Russian ballet and an homage. So, if you like your holiday cheer with a dash of wry, you’ll love this.

My Splurge

Ladies and Gents.. The Philippe Starck Ghost Chair.
The worlds first single mold polycarbonate injection molded armchair in a classic Louis XVI form. It is scratchproof, shockproof and resistant to atmospheric agents.

The icing on the cake? I got it on sale.. AND I got free shipping. No, really, seriously. HOW DO I DO IT????

Oh.. and by the way E... there's going to be a chair showing up at the house soon...

It's the Happ- Happiest Season of All!

It's that time of year again, when panic sets in. I scurry and I scheme. I make phone calls and frantically check the internet. I have to cajole people into being my date. It has snuck up on me and I feel so unprepared! Yes, the Fall/Holiday Movie season is upon us.

It's such a pain that most movies even semi-worth seeing are all jam-packed into a 8 week time frame. But you all know I'm an Oscar Geek so I need to catch them all before March 5th. And actually, after all the Summer Blockbuster Wannabes, I look forward to just some plain ol' fashioned acting and directing.

Oh and some plain ol' fashioned Gay Cowboy Love.

Ok, it has special effects, but I can't wait to see Aslan kick some Narnia Ass.

I gotta back my Chinese sistahs! Fine they're playing Japanese Geishas, but did people complain when an Egyptian played Dr. Zhivago???!

Matty Matty is BACK! Are you kidding me? I'll watch Clooney and Damon bake bread!

SJP is BACK!! And her wardrobe will be as fierce as ever.

The Have-Nots

Zoinks! Is it Tuesday already? December already?
.. It think it would be easier to tell you what I haven't been doing these past few days rather than what I have.

I have not been moving into my new home.
I have not been reporting to Jury Duty on the right day.
I have not been partaking in huge Bacchanal Orgies a la Eyes Wide Shut.
I have not been watching my food intake.
I have not been watching my alcohol intake.
I have not been sleeping in (F*CK!).
I have not been drinking enough coffee.
I have not been cleaning my room.
I have not been buying myself new shoes(Double F*CK!).
I have not been enjoying my Home Depot excursions.

But I have been to 3 Holiday Parties in just about 3 days. Here's me and my overwhelmingly handsome date.

As you can see, he too enjoys a good beverage....

Uh-oh!!! He's gettin' a little crazy!! "I loooove you guys!!!"

Ready to be taken home....


More pics via the Flickr link on the right!

Revelation

9am is too early for Christmas Carolers. I get really stressed out. ... .. Thank goodness for Jack Johnson.