Passive-Agressive

Not too much to report at the moment.
But I leave you with my favorite website of the week.. for anyone who's ever bore witness to passive aggressive notes(and who hasn't?), you'll love this...

My California Coast

I missed the Bay to Breakers this year. But I made up for it with a great weekend up the California Coast. For all the times I curse the lack of street parking, my garden vandals, and the high cost of living... I have a weekend like this and I am reminded again why Northern California is one of the most amazing places to live.

The Mar Vista Cottages are a gem, be sure to tell Renata and Tom that Rowdeezy sent you!

I've worked my way through a pastry or two. Believe me, Franny's Cup & Saucer in Point Arena, California(pop. 474) is on par with the best of ANY big city bakery. We had a delightful time spent just drooling over everything in the shop.
Can you smell the buttery goodness??
D even got me out of bed and in the car with minimal complaints so we could catch Bowling Ball Beach at lowtide.
And how could we talk about the coast without a lighthouse? The tallest one on the West Coast in fact. What can I say? Size matters...
And seafood. I haven't even mentioned the seafood yet!


And on our last night, as though to tuck us in, the Crescent Moon made an appearance with Venus.
Goodnight California Moon!!

Dress Code

I never seem to be wearing the right thing.
Beginning in High School, I always seemed to be getting in trouble for wearing the wrong thing.
You see, I spent 21/2 years in private Catholic School. And yes, this involved white button up shirts, standard regulation navy skirts, standard regulation navy cardigans, and even standard regulation sweater vests.

But the cardigans were of some bulky acrylic blend (it was the 80's, synthetic fibers were not what they are today.) that had no shape and fitted poorly. Actually, I'm wrong. They actually were of some weird square shape; but they still fitted poorly. I much preferred my vintage navy blue argyle sweater. It was warmer and it gave me just the right oldey timey studious look. But Sister Mary Annetta begged to differ. So did Dean Whats-Her-Face. I always did an about face in the halls once I saw Dean WHF. On some days it was like the gunfight at the OK Corral, a showdown between Good and Evil. Sometimes Evil prevailed and I got my share of demerits.

One Christmas in the early 90's I earned some extra Christmas money working at JcPenney's for the Holidays. If there were ever a 9th Circle of Hell, well, I would rank this the 8th. JcP, and my Manager Mary Falwell, in particular, was a stickler for dress code. She had a real problem when I wore pants that were not part of a 2pc suit. I'm sure she was also pretty peeved that my pants weren't polyester but I don't believe that was actually stated in the employee handbook. So for two months I spent a lot of time avoiding Mgr Falwell each time I saw her in the employee lunchroom. Lucky for me, no demerits.

My place of work decided to reinforce a "luxury" look last year. Basically insinuating that we all dress like shmoes. I know I'm usually pretty fabulous so it wasn't an issue. But today I wore my lavender corduroys to work. They're soft, with sandblasted whiskers, and boot cut. Not wool slacks, but they're fashionable and as long as they're not denim, I'm in the clear. It was cold. I knew it would be a long 10 hour day and I needed my comfy pants. Unfortunately I bumped into the Executvive Assistant that I like to call Sargeant Fox. You know the type, drunk with power. Well she likes to take issue with these pants everytime I wear them.
"Deezy, are those jeans??"
"No Sargeant. They're corduroys. We go through this everytime I wear these!"
"MMm.... girl! You are really pushin' it."
This said the woman who was one step away from wearing sweats today..........

Conan in the City

Have any of you been able to catch Conan O'Brien's week in San Francisco? Never wanting to miss anything cool portraying My Beloved City, I've been recording it this week. He's been so brilliant and hilarous that I am thoroughly bitter that neither my sister nor I were able to get tickets to the tapings.

What's been a great delight I think to all the local viewers is how he is incorporating authentic, local details for his jokes. I think anyone outside the City would appreciate the gags but there's enough inside jokes to prevent his show from being too cheesy.

The Transgender Transamerica Pyramid
One of his producers quizzing guest George Lucas on Star Wars trivia.
Casting Sam Wo restaurant as his co-sponsor alongside Intel.
"San Francisco, the only city in America where marijuana is legal but plastic bags are not."
Knocking on the Full House door to find Bob Saget still living there.
"The city's #1 theatre, in the #22 neighborhood." <- This one was a laugh out loud joke for me...


So here's to you Conan. For letting the rest of the country in on how fantastic this city is..... But I'll never really forgive you for not sending me tickets....

Nature Recap

Call it good wallet karma, call it the donation I made to One.org, but a good samitarian called to return my lost wallet today. It was found on the streets of Chinatown.. long story. All was intact, even the $60 cash. Thank you Mrs. Ng!!!!

... In the meantime, I have yet to share our day at Palo Marin. I guess D put it best when he recapped it as follows:
Baby seals, rare birds, cobblestones, beautiful waves, waterfalls, driftwood, abalone shells, anenomes, barnacles, reefs, sandstone, landslides, flotsam, sea urchin shells, skeletons, swimming, engineering, picnic, cliffs, slaked shale.

Funny, he left out a skinny dip (solo!), and a Seal Pup playing grabass. You can check out the pics via the Flickr Badge to the right.

And here's my first foray into video blogging(pardon the rotation thing...)... What better way than to bring the cute??




And now let me introduce to you, The King of the Mountain in his element

A Dialing Tip

A very full weekend.. It lead with me losing my wallet Friday night.. but all in all, it was actually a fantastic weekend. More on that later..

But for now, my Monday morning consists of calling the credit card companies and the bank to replace my cards. .. American Express has a convoluted Automated Response System and I kept having to repeat myself to check any suspicious activity. And there is no "option" to speak to a customer service rep to request a new card. I kept pounding the "0" key only to hear "I'm sorry. I don't seem to understand what you've said.".... GGAAAA... After the 3rd time, I yelled out "You F*cking B^tch!!!"... "One moment please. A customer service will be right with you."

I now have a new AMEX card arriving tomorrow by 5pm.
So you heard it here first folks. The quickest way to speak to a human at Amex....

It's Not So Easy Being Green...

So Earth Day has come and on. And I would say that it felt like the most momentous Earth Day in memory. Not that I personally participated in any big Eco Events. I worked on the plants on my deck, bought a succulent(30% off!), took Sake for walkies and watched a bit of the Planet Earth marathon on the Discovery Channel. And if you haven't seen his program, get thee to an HD TV quick! It's an amazingly filmed series, but watching it on HD takes it to a mind-blowing level.

All of this Green Talk recently I think spurs great dialogue about how we use resources we take for granted. You may still feel Global Warming is Gore's way of getting back at Bush, but ultimately we shouldn't be sucking up Mother Earth's resources just because we have the technology to do so. Oh, but its so easy to do isn't it? I mean, have you checked your Carbon Footprint lately?? My god, how many trees do I have to plant to make up for all the times I've driven to gym on a Saturday morning instead of taking the Muni??
... And what about the ONE compact florescent bulb I bought that still sits in the cupboard?
.........And I KNOW I don't unplug the toaster when I'm done with breakfast.
... And no, I never bring my own organic cotton sacks while doing my weekly shopping at Trader Joe's.
.... And I can barely afford organic carrots let alone organic clothing!

Its enough to lead me to just throw my newspapers in the trash, and buy a SUV! But before I did anything rash, I came across this great organization(courtesy of Oprah, of course.). For 10 cents a day, Greendimes.com will help rid you of unwanted junk mail and save all that paper. And, they'll even plant a tree for you! Finally, someone who's made it easy. So go..

Go forth and be GREEEENNNN!!!!

Be Well, Be Strong Virginia Tech

We are ALL reeling...

I know, guns don't kill people. People kill people.
But let me leave you with this:

Guns like the gunman's 9mm semi-automatic handgun and a 22-caliber pistol are easy to come by in gun shops across the country, but particularly in the Virginia Commonwealth where there is:

No gun registration
No mandatory wait period
No ban on assault weapons.
No ban on high capacity clips
The only restriction is one firearm per month.

Reactionary? Sure. Strawman logic? Maybe.
But right now it's the only thing I have to wrap my head around......

A Hallmark Moment

I had the joy of having my sister and her two children over on Saturday afternoon. It's not exactly Toys R Us, but I do have a small amount of toys tucked away just for my 4-year-old nephew to while away the afternoon. His eyes indeed lit up when I brought out the Big Box of 96 count Crayola Crayons.

Nephew: "WOW!!! Sixty-Nine!!!!"
Rowdeezy: (chuckling) "My love, that's Ninety-Six. See? The 9 is before the 6. Ninety-six."
Nephew: "Ohh. Ninety-six. I LOVE NINETY SIX!"
Rowdeezy: "Well, ..you may grow up to love Sixty-Nine one day too....."
Sister: (Spittake in the kitchen)

American Idol

I had never wondered until today if a writer, American or otherwise, has helped to shape me, shape part of who I am today. But when I heard the news of Kurt Vonnegut's passing, I realize that dear Kurt was my American Idol.

Don't get me wrong, I was never a #1 fan. I've never read Cat's Cradle. I barely got through Slaughterhouse-Five. But at the tender, impressionable age of 16, I was entranced by the Beat Writers of the 60's and their thumbs up at the writing establishment. (I went to high school in Berkeley, sue me.) Richard Brautigan, Ferlinghetti, Vonnegut. They were all anti-establishment without reeking of the typical Hippy Dippy Acid Tripping stereotype that San Francisco is known for. These guys were sharp, funny, satirical, brooding, depressed, suicidal. What more could a 16-year-old ask for??? I remember quite distinctly my very first term paper was about Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast of Champions and God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater. So while others toiled away on the symbolism of East of Eden or the heady nature of To Kill a Mockingbird; I sat and chuckled at beaver jokes and protagonists who suffered from Echolalia. His apocolyptic humor always struck a note of kinship within me.

I often pretend around these parts that I feel at ease with writing. Any writer could tell you that "ease" is rarely ever the case. It took Vonnegut 22 years to write his classic Slaughterhouse-Five, the Great American Novel. So thank you, Kurt, for helping me to be at ease with my own writing. Thank you for lighting my way through the treacherous years of teendom. Thank you for showing there is more than what is spoon-fed to me. Thank you for showing me writing doesn't always have to "come naturally" or be "serious" to be good, no, great, NO, brilliant.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
1922 — 2007

(image courtesy of www.vonnegut.com)

Faking It

I can be passionate about a good many things in life. In turn, there are a good many things in life I'm not so passionate about. Yin/Yang and all that.

And faking that passion for the sake of others has never been my forte. Even when it means my very own survival. .. Next week, I have an appointment to feign my desire and commitment to something that I actually want very little to do with. But I do have a mortgage and a car payment to think of, so let the playacting begin.

Any helpful hints?

My Lovely Lady Hump Day

Had a meeting at the W Hotel at 10 o'clock this morning. We've launched our website in China .. and of course, bugles must be played and confetti thrown. .. On the way back however, a bird crapped on my cordoroy trenchcoat. WTF?? Tidestick to the rescue. "Its good luck!" I keep telling myself, not really believing it.

At 12:30 I wandered over to the neighborhood bookstore for a reading with an author. Something about the "UNrunner's Guide to Running a Marathon". Well, I waited 20 minutes and the Bitch never showed up. .. I was seriously considering a purchase, but now I'm too indignant to do so.

.... Just 10 minutes ago, I bumped into the President of Merchandising on the hall (My boss' boss' boss.). As I turned around to exit my VPs office, he came in. Caught off guard, all I could manage was a squeaky (albeit friendly and chipper) "Hiyyeeee!" ...

........... When will Friday get here?

San Francisco Spring

Aahh, a San Francisco Spring Day. Meaning, bitter cold and fog. But whenever the weather gets me down, I can always count on Sake to help me appreciate the beauty of My Beloved San Francisco..

Warning: Objects in Picture are larger than they appear.

The hills are aliiiivee.. with the sound of muuusic..!

Tuesday Scattergories

Not so great day at work yesterday. One of my vendor's aggravated me to such a degree that I had to end my email with..."Help me to help you Margaret". ha! Can't say I've done that before!

Hopefully I won't see need to ever do it again...
==================================================================
To ensure I properly purge some of my work tension, I went to the gym during lunchhour today. The running machines were pretty full and I ended up next to a guy who was going full boar and making a quite a racket.
*clank*
*clank*
*clank*
*clank*

I just assumed that he had a faulty machine and didn't want to lose momentum by moving. So I just dealt with it. But after about 5 minutes I was really getting annoyed! Even giving him the mental Stink Eye.

Seven and half minutes into my run, I realized what was making the noise. This guy had a prosthetic leg. No, not a leg. A thingamajiggy, a la Sarah Reinertsen from Amazing Race. Each time his right "foot" came down, it clanged up against the front of the treadmill.

I felt like as ass. Here this guy was going 9mph.. 6.5 minute mile (yeah I looked! Wouldn't you??) , BOOKING. It inspired me to take it up a notch too. After all, I thought, I have 2 legs! I shouldn't complain!

Yeah... that lasted for about another 2 minutes. He was back to Annoying Status soon thereafter...

Cheers to You Springtime!

Is it bad to admit that Spring always makes me want to get liquored up?
Not in a let-me-crawl-to-the-porcelein-god-and-pass-out kind of way... It's more a celebratory feeling. I want to bask in the sun and celebrate the departure of Old Man Winter. I know, I live in San Francisco. It was 80 degrees here last week; what do I know of Old Man Winter?

It's all relative my Loverlies. I am a delicate creature that doesn't fare well in anything below 56 degrees. And besides, the fog here can depress anyone. So when the sun comes beaming again, and the daffodils bloom, all I want to do is throw on my wife-beater, put on some bronzer, and celebrate!

Sangria, champagne, chilled chardonnay, lychee martini's, Jade cocktails, don't they all sound so refreshing?? I know, you must think me a complete lush to somehow equate Spring with cocktails... but they taste delicious on a warm spring day, and they make me happy and excited about the days to come. What can be wrong with that??

It

Have not felt much in the "blogging" mood lately. How do daily columnists do it?? Of course, I suppose, if you're a daily columnist/blogger-type, you may not have a pesky 9-to-5 to worry about too. Thereby freeing up brainspace for other pursuits.

These days I find my brain floating off to visions of lipsticks and face powders, and not in a good way. Last night I dreamt that I- oh never mind. It's not worth mentioning and see? There you have it. Nothing blog-worthy. Indeed I could bore you all with my Ode to the Junior Mint®... but where's the fun in that?
Some of you may be asking right about now, "but surely Dahling, there's lots happening in your life right now to blog about". .. Perhaps... Part of it is finding the mental fortitude to compile it cohesively for you, my dear reader; and in a manner that lives up to both your standards and mine.

So perhaps then, we've really come to the core of the issue. My mental fortitude. Google "mental fortitude" and you'll find it associated with sports quite often. (Spot on as I found out when I ran my first 1/2 Marathon, I realized I had not built up my mental fortitude at all!) "That strength or firmness of mind which enables a person to encounter danger with coolness and courage, or to bear pain or adversity without murmuring, depression, or despondency; passive courage; resolute endurance; firmness in confronting or bearing up against danger or enduring trouble." (From selfknowledge.com)

Face adversity without murmuring, depression, or despondency.
Encounter danger with coolness and courage.
How very 007!

But so far, not very 2007 I'm afraid. Where has my mental fortitude gone? Did I cough It up along with half my lung last month? Did I ever have It to begin with?....... And now that I know It's missing, how do I find It?.. They say you can find anything on eBay; maybe It's there..? .. If any of you see It, be a dear and bring it by....

Ta DAAAAA!!!!!

I've let work keep me away... but now that things are winding down I can finally share some awesome news...

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I please introduce to you... Reese Jayden! Yep, all 7lbs, 10oz of her.


I cannot wait to spoil this little niece of mine!


Aaahhh... finally, someone who I can entrust my Hello Kitty collection with!

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To

Yep. It was my birthday. Thanks everyone for all your thoughtful birthday wishes! It is most wonderful to hear from all of you, birthday or not!

The work front has been stressful and invariably frustrating. All of which is leading up to a fair amount of bitterness and distrust. Which in turn is having an effect on my physical health.

On Monday, I came down with a fever and severe chills and had to go home and sleep for 13 hours. Though I still don't feel too hot to trot, I made it into work on my birthday(I'm getting my Hello Kitty Birthday card and pastry goddamnit!) and I at least look hot to trot.

I'm swamped with work and trying to get back into good health. As if a sign from the gods, Daily Candy sent me info on an ayurveda clinic today. At this point, I'll try anything...

I will leave you with some pics from my healthy Saturday night.... ..

You can see them all here at flickr.






Double chin and red eye; but at least my makeup and nails look good!





Never let a guy have control of the camera!

Keeping Score

DING DING DING! For those of you keeping score at home...

Bai Ling has scored her first official Bitch Slap this year!!

Why does she have to ruin everything????
And how does she get 4 guest episodes on a show like "Lost" looking like a whore??? Excuse me, TRANNY whore.
Does she have it written into her contract or something???

What she looks like here is pretty much what she looked like in her first scene. And that scene was on a beach!!! WTF?????

Ashes to Ashes ... Dust to Dust

I went to a funeral last month.
She was 20.
We were all a wreck.
It was open casket.
I felt creeped out.
I assume though, that at the age of 20, your own funeral arrangements are not on the top of your list of things to do(unless maybe if you're Marilyn Manson). But I wondered if this is what she would've wanted. And I found myself wondering what I wanted for myself.

In some ways, funerals are like weddings. You would initially thinks that its about you, "the star" of the show; but its also about the your community and family coming together to hold witness, celebrate, mourn. .. But does the sight of a made-up corpse lying "peacefully" in a plumped casket help people to say good bye?

Ultimately my wish is to be cremated, ashes spread out into the Bay of My Beloved City( I don't think the La Prairie at Neiman Marcus would appreciate my ashes). Will people get the closure they need at the viewing of an urn? Granted, I would also want a kickass wake where people just get drink and celebrate.
I would wish my loved ones closure, but here I am worrying about others, even in my death. But like I said, its never just about you...