The Learning Annex

I don't care what you say. My blog is educational. I mean, I was there. I helped someone out when, on a Saturday night at 11:16pm, they needed to know.... tossing salad-does it taste like shit?

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Be Safe, Be Well Dahlings

Spontaneity

It seems so little left of life(in a Big City anyway) can be left up to spontaneity anymore.
No new theatrical releases on the fly.
Get togethers with friends are like trying to coordinate a G8 summit.
Last minute getaways are best left to your travel agent who has the computer power of HAL:2001.
You can't decide on a run 4 days out. (No running bandits my a&&!)
Bars are taking reservations now??
And of course I have to book my haircuts with Alex 3 months prior! When I saw him a few Sundays ago, he asked, "so why are you back already?" "Don't test me Alex! How the hell am I supposed to know what my hair looks like 3 months ahead?"

Its enough to send you over the Calendar Cliff. Thankfully, one can still get a delicious scoop of Butter Pecan and Comforting Snuggles from my Honey on a Saturday Night

One Step at a Time

You may have caught the references in some recent posts .. But have you noticed?
It's that time of year...
There is a crispness in the air, the sun shines with a different intensity (if it shines at all!), and a few of us get a little stir crazy. Oh yes, the Fall Marathon Season is in full stride.

In much of the USA, fall is the best time of year to run a marathon. The crisp, cool air is ideal for training after a long, hot summer. The training miles and long runs come easier; you just feel better while running. ~Let me switch gears just slightly as I also include 5k/10k runs in this post.~ I have completed numerous 10Ks, 12Ks and even two half-marathons but I have yet to complete a full marathon. As it was, 13 miles was the furthest I had ever pushed my body and to date it's the hardest thing I have ever done. Indeed, after a big running year in '05, I think I subconsciously took a minor sabbactical from running. Somehow, somewhere I lost my motivation. Just going 4 miles once a week has been a physical (and mental!) challenge.

But as I watched my friend Van finish her first half marathon, whilst pregnant!, and Lance Armstrong finish his first marathon sub 3:00(2:59:36!!) , I found my motivation again. And although a full marathon may or may not be in the cards.. (after all, if Armstrong says the 26.2 miles "was without a doubt the hardest physical thing [he has] ever done", you think twice before committing) I'm ready to lace up the running shoes again.

I've checked my www.active.com schedule and I'm excited by all the runs listed. There are 3Ks, 5Ks, 10Ks, 12Ks, and oh yes... a Turkey Trot on Ocean Beach! I'm hoping my rediscovered drive is not shortlived; a lot of this "get up and go" could get up and leavee when faced with a 5am wake-up call in 45 degree weather. But I resolve that I'm just going to take it.. ... wait for it.... wait... One Step At a Time..... *rimshot*

So here's to Running Season and the Pounding of the pavement! May your legs remain strong and your laces stay tied.

Lemming

WTF????

I just heard Gwen Stefani's new single, Wind It Up... and she has gone ahead and bastardized a song from one of my favorite movies of all time! Was it really necessary to co-opt The Lonely Goatherd for her stupid lame pop song??? Was pilfering from Zorba the Greek Fiddler on the Roof not enough? It sounds horrible! I love you Gwen, but what happened to song writing!!!???? Oh wait, you don't really do that a whole lot anymore do you? I hope the rest of the album doesn't consist of spelling lessons again... "B-R-O-C-C-O-L-I!". I know you've got it in you. Enough is Enough!
.....

............

Who am I kidding? I'm a lemming. Give me another 2 weeks; I'll probably LOVE it.

Rock the Vote!

By no means could I ever be mistaken for being a political pundit. And lord knows neither of my 2(!) readers come here to find out about my analysis on the financial impact of a cigarette tax. But as I stepped out my door this morning, I was, as I am every 2 years, exhilerated by the prospect of Election Day. Putting aside our day to day cynicsm of politics and politicians (Voter fraud? Seducing Pages?), I am always thrilled at the sight of Democracy at work.

Because here in a stranger's garage I was adding my voice to the future. Excuse me, that's Future, with a capitol F. I step up to voting station and go head on with my ballot. My ticket to Democracy.
..We hear it time and time again; the shpiel about spreading democracy across the globe. We hear all the time people fighting, dying, to have a say in their government. And here in America ,I feared more people would vote for their favorite Dancing Star tonight than their Senator.

But as the results come in, I am ebullient. The tide has changed, the people have made their choice clear. I may not always agree with the results, but for me, it's always important to know people are out there casting their votes. And hey for the first time, we have a woman Speaker of the House! Go Nancy! You're third in line to the presidency!
In the words of the venerated Dan Rather, she ran away with it like a hobo and a sweet potato pie...

Go Brazil! Finish time 2:09:58

Ggggaaa. I had something really cool and quasi poignant to say today about the NYC Marathon. I cried like a little girl during it's airing on tv today.
But I'm unfortunately too friggin tired to write anything other than:

(In taunting voice)
EEHHH HHHHAAA! Ken Yans lo-ost! Ken Yans lo-ost!

You'd think I'd just ran a marathon! (Hey sometimes, being a spectator at a spectator sport can be so tiring!)

Wednesday Scattergories

For the first time in I think.. years... I 'm wearing hose today. Ok, opaque black stockings. But you get my drift....
And they are as uncomfortable as I remember them being. F*ck...

Overheard at the office:
H: Hey, it's raining!
Rowdeezy: Outside?

I'm reaching for my vitamins... but I can't remember if I JUST took them 15 minutes ago. Should I just take a second dose anyway?

I think the stockings are getting to me.....

'Twas 3 Nights Before Halloween

I never would have believed it.. but I have actually dressed up for Halloween two years in a row! And lo! I even hosted a Halloween Party! Sure beats past years where I sat at home avoiding horror movies on TNT and eating takeout. Thanks to my peeps for sharing their photos! (I'm still going through the grief cycle with my old Canon Powershot.) And to all the guests, thanks for coming out to share the fun!

Oooops. Sorry. That's the wrong picture...

Oh that's better! Our motley assortment of costumed revelers.

The Lewis Carroll Trio. *chuckle!* I just noticed Sake off to the side intently staring at Leslie's Flamingo! (It's really a dog toy she fastened onto a Swifter.)

And the great costumes just keep coming!

YO BETTY! LOVED this. In fact I'm stealing it for the office Halloween competition. I work in Beauty, what could be more ironic?

All Hail Caesar Salad!!

Sure sign that the party is over when the hostess melts away..

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!

Coffee, Tea, or Me

My girl Leslie is a whiz at thinking up party themes. We had decided a few weeks ago we didn't want to pay $30 for some club event. But what was the alternative? After a 20 second "hmmmm".. she responded with, "Got it! Alice in Wonderland Tea Party! Done."

So this Saturday I will be hosting a Tea Party, complete with a slutty cast of characters: Slutty Alice, The Queen of Harlots, and yours truly a Mad Hotter. God help us.

Received my costume on Monday. Eh. Without the cape and hat, it looks like I'm a figure skater. We'll see how it turns out. I still need to find a cheapie Toy Tea Set. It's been harder than I thought! Do little girls not play with tea sets anymore???

Some of the men have been a little more slow with costumes. I told them to come as aWet Blanket. Bwahahaha! Oh, damn I'm funny. The other idea was to just wear all green and get his hands on a Hookah Pipe. Caterpillar. Done! Anyone have any other easy to execute costume ideas for men?

Whirly Twirly

I Googled "whirly twirly" this morning and this was the first image I came across.. Go figure.

The point of today's story is really to say.. hang on folks... lots of blogging to come. I have a jumble of topics all up here.. *taps temple*, but things have been so hectic that I haven't been able to quite settle down to get them all down.

All sorts of activites since September and continuing on through November have had my mind all in a Whirly Twirly. And with the Holiday Season within our Tippy Toe Reach, there will be no relief in sight for some time. So be patient with me!

In a quick sidenote, congrats go out to all the women yesterday who trained so hard to complete 13 and 26 miles at the Nike Women's Marathon.! It's not easy and in some ways one of the hardest things you'll ever do. But in some respects, and this is the best part, you realize halfway through your runners high, that it actually isn't that bad... and that if you can do this.. you can do anything!!! YAAAAY for you Girly Girls 2006, I'm bummed I skipped out this year but I'm so glad I got to see you at the Finish Line. You've inspired me to push on for 2007!

Project Runway at Fashion Week

It's time for Bryant Park, Fashion Week!!

Jeffrey "I Forgot to Shower" Sebilla knocked my socks off with a collection that was full of surprises. Sweet and edgy. I would wear almost every piece! (Yeah, if I lost 50 lbs first.)

Uli "I Forgot to Comb My Hair" Herzner came up with essentially a resort collection that was pretty and wearable.. But did she just repeat a lot of what she has already done the entire season? Pretty much. BORING.

Laura "I Forgot to Thank My Rich Sculptor Husband" Bennett... Trying to break out of the one note designs she conjured up during the season was ambitious with her gowns. We saw high-waisted *yawn*, we saw feathers *snore* but wow! We saw pants! Lovely. But I also saw an entirely extraneous piece of tulle globbed onto a blazer. Huh??

Michael "I Forgot How to Fit a Woman" Knight was my initial favorite coming out of the block.. I lost some of my faith through the course of hte season and looked forward to his show. With his Safari Huntress theme, I'm not sure I got any of that confidence back. The overall look and feel is HOT, but the fit seems to be off. Some pieces just dont' seem flattering.

I think Jeffrey and Laura had the most confident collection. But Jeffrey is the one that strikes the note of originality with me. He gets my vote.

Who do I think will win?... .. Possible that Laura pulls it out... ...
*************************************************************************
Sorry Michael! You will get there!
Ta Ta Laura! You bored the judges.
Ggggaaa! Who will it be??

..... ....... ..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Jeffrey!!!! You deserve it! You deserve it!!! You are the rockstar!!!! Now go take a shower.

SNOOZ'ing

Edit: Evidently, I need this:

Clocky, The Alarm Clock For The Snooze Button Lover.
If I hit the snooze button, Clocky® (patent pending) will roll off of the nightstand, fall to the floor, and run around the room, wheel away, bumping mindlessly into objects until it finds a spot to rest. When the alarm sounds again, I've gotta haul ass to look for it. Clocky will find new spots everyday, kind of like a hide-and-seek game.... Due to be released next month, I am so there...

*******************************************
The radio(NPR) alarm goes off each morning at 6:52am. I don't seem to hear it.
Next, my melodic buzzer goes off next at 7:06am. This one I hear. But I promptly sit up, slap the SNOOZE button and go back to sleep. It goes off again in 10 minutes but I repeat the SNOOZE process.
I have recently added the 7:21am TV alarm. Once that kicks off, I usually fumble around under my pillows for the remote. I press a few buttons to get the beeping to stop but I leave the tv on. With the soothing voice of Matt Lauer droning on, I usually float in and out of sleep again.
That is, until my alarm clock buzzes again. And sometimes it has to buzz a few more times. I have been finally hauling myself out of bed at around 8am. About 45 minutes after I intend to.
And so it goes it each morning..... It's like Groundhog Day.. but not.

I've had boyfriends who I think have broken up with me over this SNOOZE addiction.. What's a girl to do?

Always Bet on Black

There are far bigger tech geeks in the world than me. But, as some of you know.. I'z love my phonez! And with everyone and their mother(and father) gabbing on a Razr nowadays, I feel the need to move on. Not to mention, I can't believe my phone is still functioning after all the abuse its taken(There by the Grace of God...). I'm fairly sure it's on its last Motorolegs.

Codenamed the Motorola Canary, this beauty has now made its official appearance at Verizon Wireless. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to the next generation Razr: Motorola krzr . I just got back from Verizon because I needed to have a tactile moment with it.

Verdict?? Hot. HOt. HoT. Its slightly longer, but narrower than its predesessor. The shell looks like some mixture of magnesium and glass, very Terminator. AND, the music player can be controlled by the touch-sensitve buttons you see in the pic. NICE.

Linda, put $10 on Black 27 for me because Momma needs a new phone!!!!!!!!

Allo Guv'nah!

So many of us have opined over Handsome Gavin's overabundant reliance on slickery hair gel.


But has our dubiously coiffed Mayor recently turned a new leaf?
Do my eyes deceive me? Is that Hugh Grant or is that really our Mayor sans Dippity Do? Is this his attempt at being "down with people?" An intentional attempt at placating those who are Hair Product impaired?

No, methinks this is the intitial gubernatorial bid at Newsom 2010. After all, if you're going to be the Governor of the great state of California, you've gotta get serious...

School Nights

I've never aspired to be the Weekend Warrior party-type. I've just always prided myself on being the City Girl who avoided the Bridge and Tunnel crowd at all cost. "I hate going out on Saturdays!" And I have enough blurry Taco Tuesdays to attest to that.

But I have noticed lately a reluctance to mosy out during the work week, aka school nights. I've caught myself thinking twice when making plans for a weekday. No offense to anyone but I sometimes just want to come home from the office/gym and relax(watch the Lost season premiere, or Jules and Mimi or something). Hell, I want to do that a lot! .... But then 5 years go buy and you have the social skills of badger. You might be up on your Reality TV, but you have no idea that Absolut Vodka now comes in 57 flavors. Your skin looks fabulous from all the Astara masks you've been doing, but there are no cute-guys-who-are-way-too-young-for-you around to admire you.

So where am I going with this? Eff.... I don't know.... I'ts 12:20am and I've been watching Dog Whisperer DVD's most of the evening ..... I need to get out tomorrow night...

and don't lie. Who remembers Jules and Mimi??

Powers

As if my body was sensitive to the power of suggestion.... Turns out I had to cleanse myself right in the middle of my Wednesday run. Not very convenient. Much relieved once I got to cleanse back home. In fact, I think the planets aligned to help things along even further as more cleansing ultimately happened after that. (I know, TMI. Ha!) This preview has been enough to convince me that there is no way that I am going to subject myself to 4-5 cleanses a day via Master Cleanse. That feeling is just too tortuous. Sorry Dahlings. I haven't the fortitude.

On the pleasant topic tip: As I washed my hair last night, I thought to myself.. "I am definitely not in the mood for my monthly Category Review tomorrow. (We're going to meet with the President again on Monday anyway.) Please cancel our meeting tomorrow. *shimmy in the shower* Cancel, cancel, cancel. *shimmy* *shimmy* *shake*"

So yep. Guess what? At 9:35 this morning, he walked into my VP's office to reschedule, ie. cancel. Woooohhoooooo!

You had all better watch out Dahlings..... My powers are growing....

The Fast and The Furious

An interesting concept has been making its way around the office in the past few weeks. A few co-workers have gone on a 10-day cleansing fast developed by Stanley Burroughs back in 1941, The Master Cleanser. It's also known as the Lemonade Diet, but I think that name makes it sound far more gimmicky.

Mr.Burroughs, a researcher of disease and “toxemia”, believed disease is simply the accumulation of wastes, toxins, or poisons in the body, which in turn creates the myriad of symptomatic illnesses we are seeing so prevalent in people today.

It is a liquid mono-diet that cleanses and detoxifies the body as it stimulates healthy tissue growth. It consists of fresh lime or lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper mixed with water and drunk 6-12 times a day, for at least 10 days(Met a fellow, "John the Baptist" last night at Super! Tuesday who claims to have done it for 21.). This yummy little "lemonade" concoction is meant to allow a cleansing and rejuvenation of the system. Many people claim to feel a dramatic and beneficial change within their bodies within a fairly short time. These benefits include increased energy, better sleep patterns, less tension, relief from aches and pains, plus clearer thinking. SOUNDS GREAT! Where do I sign up??

Not so fast my friends. Since the Master Cleanse consists of no fiber, you must use a laxative to remove the waste as it is being shed from the colon wall, otherwise it will stay in the body, leading to tiredness and any number of problems. Enter now the Salt Water sludge part of the diet. "Each morning on an empty stomach, add two teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt to a full quart of water. Do not use ordinary iodized salt as it will not work properly. Drink the entire quart of salt water first thing in the morning. "Chug" this — drink it as fast as possible. Within an hour several bowel movements will likely occur. (You'll need to be by a toilet for half an hour to an hour.)" OMGWTFBBQ!!

So not only will you be also stocking up on lemons and cayenne paper, you had better make a Costco run for toilet paper too! This also means I have to get up 90 minutes earlier than usual so as to be close to my own bathroom as the BMs occur. This is a lot of commitment. But then, this isn't called the Partial Cleanse is it? No, it's a MASTER Cleanse. Which means you will probably be saying hello to Thankgsiving Dinner from 1982 at some point.

There is a small group that is intended to start the Fast together, misery loves company and all that. The topic of BMs will surely become at the forefront of many conversations at the workplace; who knew? Although I would love the moral support my co-workers could offer me, I'm not sure I could even commit to 1 full day of this, let alone 10. As we all know, I sorely lack discipline in the area of self-depravation. But since I won't be running any marathons or scaling any mountains this year, perhaps this will have to count as my physical(and mental!) challenge for 2006. Stay tuned...

Friday Scattergories: Redux

E: Yeah.. I think she has scabies...
Row: WHAT? Scabies! What the hell is THAT? Don't pirates get that??!
E: Uh... That's scurvy.

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So, it's the last day of summer. And as much as I love Autumn, those words always make me a little sad. THE LAST DAY OF SUMMER. It sounds so final, so.. end of an era. Like somehow I should be running out in my bikini doing a shimmy, soaking up every last ray of sun I can possibly can. Instead, I'm going to return an ill-fitting 1piece bathing suit back to J.Crew. And no, I didn't wear it in Maui! Gross.

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Discovered these on a run last month(am I late to the party?) But LOVE them. Taste soooo much better then GU™ and really work! Everybody run out and get some!

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So yeah. Did you hear? I got wiped out on Napili Beach while trying to take pictures of my nephew. The wave came in and knocked me down. But because I was holding both my AND my father's camera, I stuck my arms up in the air shouting, "Get the cameras! Get the cameras!" to my sister and BIL. Well, because I didn't brace myself, I got washed out and all my sister saw were too hands sticking out of the water passing her by. After that, I was enitrely in Spin Cycle. ugh. In case you ever wondered, salt water fucks up your digital camera in an very expedient manner. And so now I have added digital camera to the ever-growing list of things I need but can't afford.

On Trial

So I ask you, Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, are these the faces of snake killers????

Err..um.. On second thought, don't answer that....