Craving a Laugh?

I rather thought listening to Terry Gross and NPR's Fresh Air at work would be relatively harmless. Her voice is oh-so-soothing and I can usually crank out a packet of reports in a nice relaxed manner.

Today, however, her program was quite disruptive and sent basically a constant barrage of chuckles streaming out of my cubicle. She had Paul Rudd as a guest and goodness gracious he is my new hero! I suspected he had the potential for kooky humor ever since I saw him in Laz Buhrmann's Romeo and Juliet. .. I love his way of throwing caution to the wind with his comedy, and yet he balances it with this understatement that absolutely floors me. His many collaborations with Judd Apatow and the gang, has only cemented it. As I chuckled my way through the interview, I got the yearning- no, craving - for more laughs. (Side note: He said when most people come up to him on the street, they like to open with, "You know how I know you're gay??" AWESOME.) Did I ever tell you that I love to laugh? I mean.. I love it. I need it. I yearn for it. That moment when you feel it bubble up inside you? And then it just.. BOOP.. pops out? And once it is out, it, in my case, is uncontrollable. Forget about the whole opposable thumb thing; this separates us from the animals.. Its the best feeling in the world.. But I digress...

In any case, I wanted to inject more silliness into my day. So it was YouTube to the rescue.
I found the scene I wanted with Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, and Steve Carrell (and that 4th guy.. dont' know him). Enjoy, laugh, giggle, chuckle. Guffaw even.... Without further ado, here's a little Afternoon Delight.. ...


I dont' remember this music video from Anchorman.. perhaps it's on extra on the DVD? And it's not just the fact that its funny and ridiculous; its that they look like they are having an absolute ball doing all this. You want to join in!!

Memory Lane is Full

My little Mac'y has been gaining weight. In fact, it just can't take on any more.... Her Startup Disk is almost full! .. I can't believe it. I've never done this before. I've managed to fill up an entire computer! Wow...........

So until I get started on burning backup discs and begging the Apple store for help, I've been deleting away. When am I ever likely to use the Italian HelpMe files for Garageband? (Actually, can someone answer this? I've been deleting and freed up 1gb. But then, the more I delete, the less memory I have! HUH??) I'm even combing through my pictures and deleting anything that's basically just crap. Inevitably this whole exercise has turned into a walk down memory lane.

I got to a batch of pics from RJ's first Easter Egg hunt. I hav a quite a few shots from that morning so I figured I'd be able to find 1 or 2 to delete . But he's adorable in each one. I almost decide on this gem (doubleclick on pic to see larger version); but lookey lookey there to the right. Check out little Sasa leaving a little Easter treat on the lawn there! ... Can't delete that! That's classic!

So I guess its back to Memory Lane.......

A Battle

I have been battling a cold, and I can't really tell who's winning.
The noseblowing phase didn't last very long, but right now I'm feeling pretty light-headed, woozy. Great conditions for laying in bed and finishing up Harry Potter, but not so great for getting anything accomplished, at work... or otherwise.

And so it goes....

“Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms”

It has been a strangely dog/animal focused week for me; and not in a good way I think. My days and mornings have been spotted with tears and anger. First and foremost:
MICHAEL VICK. WHAT THE FARK IS WRONG WITH YOU???
Hanging? Electrocution? How can anyone do that to a living animal? Clearly, you don't see these dogs as animals. Just fighting machines to be used for your enjoyment. I say enjoyment as I would as a NFL Quarterback with Nike endorsements, you wouldn't need this as a side income venture!!!
It is mortifying to hear that dog fighting is growing in popularity... Training these creatures for aggression and bloodthirst. I am glad to hear Nike is holding off on his merchandise. I hope the book is thrown at him.

And then we have 2 teenage girls in Santa Rosa who set a 8-week-old kitten on fire?? Watch out North Bay, those are 2 potential serial murderers in your midst. A defenseless creature in a cage that you feel would be fun to terrorize. And look, little Adam is fighting to live. His tail and the tips of his ears have been amputated, and his entire back is nothing but raw tissue, the skin having been burned completely off. And yet, look at that face! Eye of the Tiger BABY!!!

Then I hear about one of Oprah's golden retrievers accidental death. Goodness gracious!

And to top it all off, I've been reading about Barbaro the winner of the Kentucky Derby. ... .. By the time I got to the end of his story, I was in absolute tears this morning. And this time it wasn't just my eyes getting misty. My cheeks were wet, nose running. And although I am definitely not a horse hater, I can't say that I've harbored any sort of particular fondness for them either. But what magnificent creatures horses are! I must meet one now....

As this week nears its end, I can't wait to spend time with little Sake to Me. Indeed, she is often the best medicine for what ails me.




And if you see Michael Vick, kick him really hard for me. Just as I'm sure he's done to so many dogs already.

Ahoy Mateys!

In the world of adventure and physical challenges, I am what you call a late bloomer. I have only in recent years pushed myself to explore new experiences that I would have previously had run (very fast)away from.

This year will be no different as I am taking on a sailing challenge this October on behalf of the Tallship Education Academy and I humbly ask for your support with a tax-deductible donation at this link. Not only will I be learning how to sail on the San Francisco Bay, I will also be raising money for an educational program that ties academics into sail training and give young students an educational experience that would change how they view themselves, their future and their community. Something I myself never had; hence, the late blooming.

Founded by Caitlin Schwarzman in 1998 at Mercy High School in San Francisco, the Tall Ship Semester for Girls is set apart by four unique elements. First, the students are racially and socio-economically diverse, second, all students’ have demonstrated financial need is met, third, students are all drawn from the San Francisco area and their lessons at sea are tied into their lives during the culminating six weeks in their home community and finally, this program is the only all-girls sail training program in the country.

The 3-days Women’s Challenge is designed to give 12 participants a taste of what the girls will experience during a semester at sea, and all proceeds will benefit the Tall Ship Semester for Girls program. I will be part of a small group that will work together aboard the Schooner Seaward to learn the important skills necessary to sail a large schooner in San Francisco Bay and along the coast. Success will depend not only on individual sailing knowledge but on the strength of the group’s ability to work together as a team. Quite frankly, success will also depend on my ability to avoid seasickness, my not so great ability as a swimmer, and how I deal with the bathroom situation. ACK!

I hope you can help with my fundraising goal (its a doozy!)this year in making a Semester at Sea a reality for a deserving student. And I promise I will have stories o’plenty after my 3 days on the Sea!

I do encourage you to read more about this accredited program: www.tallshipacademy.org
And read about last year’s crew in the San Francisco Chronicle!

ALL DONATIONS TAX DEDUCTIBLE

Happy-Go-Lucky

I'm not by nature a happy-go-lucky person. (I don't think I am anyway... and for the sake of today's post I ask you to go with me on this one.) Which is why I find those little Simple Pleasure moments few and far between. Sure, they probably happen a lot more often than I give them credit for.. but I'm usually oblivious to them.

But this past Saturday I caught a moment. It was fleeting but lovely nonetheless; a moment comprised of some of my favorite things: coffee, food, and Sake.

Little Sasa was in need of a new collar, so we scuttled down to our favorite pet store in Hayes Valley and tried on a variety of pink collars. She was being such a good girl and almost seemed to enjoy each of the collars she tried on. But I digress. After we decided upon a pink and silver number, we walked down to Blue Bottle Coffee for a shot of caffeine. Delish. I was also eyeing the luscous chocolate macaroons but decided against it. But as I was fishing around for my $3... one of the gals placed a whole platter of the macaroons in front of me with a little handwritten sign... "FREE". My goodness! By the Will of the Gods, I thought,I am meant to have a macaroon! .... So I picked up a piece of chocolate heaven and sauntered on, Sake by my side, latte in one hand, macaroon in the other. Sake looked super cute and ladylike in her new collar, I could hear the *click click* of her steps, happy and proud to be out and about. The latte in hand was hot and soothing, bold with flavor. The macaroon was rich in taste and gooey in just the right texture( and free!).

Indeed, at that moment my friends, I most definitely felt bliss, happy to be alive, no care in the world.... And on a day like today... when I feel most decidedly NOT happy-go-lucky.. boy do I need to hold on to that moment!

Being Green: Episode 1

Or.. Al Gore may I please have a word with you?

A curious story about my attempts at Being Green. One of my bathroom lights blew out today and although a slight annoyance, I thought, yippee! the perfect chance to use the Compact Flurescent Lightbulb (CFL) that I bought but had yet to break open. So I pitpat over to my cupboard and pulled the bulb out with no small amount of self-congratulatory glee. Hmmm...
Is it me? ... Or is there a lot of packaging here for one bulb?

Yes. In fact, methinks there is more packaging wrapped around this bulb then there is around Melanie Griffith's face!


Undaunted, I proceeded to open the package and get my Green on. Except it seemed to take forever. My scissors had a tough time cutting through the thick plastic. I gave up the strategy and tried attacking the plastic with my hands. I pulled and pulled. And with one final try I pulled the two plastic sides apart. Success! ... The bulb came flying out of the packaging and landed 6 inches below onto my new acrylic coffee table. I think you can guess the rest....

Yeah, $7 in the trash. A lot of wasted plastic. And I still have incandescent bulbs in my bathroom......
I've said once, and I'll say it again... its just not so easy being green.....

Bon Voyage Lala!

A hectic Friday... Have much to share but little time to do so.

But I have to send my hugs and kisses and best wishes to the amazing LaLa.
She is off to Morocco today!!!!
May you see amazing sights, hear awesome sounds, and taste delectable tidbits.
But above all else, remember the cranberry pills, and stay away from the fucking fromage!

You're gonna MoROCCo their world.

(Sorry!  Couldn't resist!)

Making New Friends...

So its a beautiful busy Monday.  My entire left leg has been aching since last night.  And it was yet another morning that I had to walk all the way to Market Street to catch the Muni to work.

But more importantly, I want to know why on EARTH I got invited to be "friends" with this MySpace chick...???

Bitter and Indignant, Paris is Burning

I know this story has already been beaten to death.... but quite frankly, I could not believe my eyes when I opened up my entertainment news only to find out Paris has been released from jail after only serving 3 full days!

I was already pissed enough when I found out the bitch wouldn't have to spend her full 40+ days... my annoyance was deepened when they told us they didn't remove her hair extensions like all other women have to do because hers were so deeply attached.. whatever.
But now the BitchWhoreSKANK is going to serve the rest of her time under Mansion Arrest?

GIVE ME A BREAK! Health concerns? WHAT she couldn't handle the Sidekick shakes??
Another example of some stupid ass rich chick celebrity getting off. I'd like to blame the blondeness but I don't think Michelle Rodriguez paid her debt to society for very long either (1 day only I think).

I just for whatever reason, LOVE to HATE this BitchWhoreSKANK. (Not to be confused with my #1 Bitch Slap. I don't love her in any way shape or form.) I just hate the way she is trying to pretend she's changing her ways while trotting around town with the Bible in hand... front cover conveniently turned out. I hate the way she claims she is still a great Role Model for young girls. It disgusts. Just admit that you are the BitchWhoreSKANK that you are so we can cut the pretense.

I've got to hand it to her though... The bitch knows how to take a mugshot...

EDIT: Sweet. BitchWhoreSKANK is going back. She'll be out on bail next Monday, but it was all worth it to see her waililng. The picture is absolutely gold. The sad thing is.. she just won't get it. Her parents won't get it. It's everyone else being unfair. But they won't understand that people are crying for her blood because she is so oblivious to her privilege. Will she do a PSA against drunk driving? Will she pursue other, more philanthropic, endeavors? Pursue a real career? ...



And I still don't think the SideKick Shakes count as any sort of deteroiating medical condition. The sheriff was sucked in by her manipulation just like everyone else around her. The judge is the only one who sees through her bullshit. And when she realized her sob story wasn't going to get her out of this, all she could do is cry out for Mommy. I mean, c'mon, she thought she could TELECONFERENCE her appearance before the judge????? And THAT wouldn't be preferential treatment?

Hazardous Work

I have issues with public bathrooms. Actually, I have issues with most bathrooms that are not my own. .... Unless there is an urgent bowel need, I will avoid dropping the kids off out in public at all costs. Not the ballpark bathroom, not the airport bathroom, not the restaurant bathroom, not the shopping mall bathroom, not even the office bathroom. When travelling, it even takes me a day or two to warm up to the hotel bathroom. Once, I missed a whole college lecture because I had to go 10 minutes into the lecture; but once in the bathroom, got stage fright and was stuck there for a good 40 minutes. Good times....

Well, now I have another anecdote to add to my already gem-filled vault.
Nature called last week near the end of the work day, and I decided to throw caution to the wind and do the deuce on company time. ... Slowgoing as there was a fair bit of traffic coming in and out of the ladies room (that gives me stage fright too). But just as I was being to relax, a nightmare came to life. The FREAKING FIRE ALARM goes off! And its not a drill. In fact, the incident was reported from the floor below mine. So, ok, all I need is a fireman to come rushing into the bathroom demanding my exit. All I could do was finish my business the best I could and go back to my desk and collect my things.

Unfortunately, by the time I emerged from the bathroom, just about everyone was gone. I walked down alone the 4 flights of stairs only to find a building engineer telling me I had to walk down.

"Walk down another 4 floors?"
"No! Walk DOWN."

OMGWTFBBQ!! I had to walk down 31 flights of stairs! And yes, although it is better than walking UP 31 flights of stairs, have you any idea how your legs would feel by floor 22? In 3 inch heels? No. I did not take off my shoes (they were Aerosoles.. ); at this point, I didn't even want to stop to readjust anything I was wearing or carrying. I just needed OUT. So with my handbag and gymbag in tow, I trudged on. 19.... 18...... 17....... By floor 12 I was feeling my quads shaking. With each step down, my legs felt like jello. Highly unpleasant.
Once I reached the ground floor, the doors were locked and signs instructed me down to the next floor. After a series of doors and drafty corridors I ventured out one last heavy door , wondering somehow if I had ended up in Oakland. But nope, just the receiving dock. I made it out alive, although in tears, still alive. And I didn't even have to use chewing gum and a bobby pin to blow myself out...

The moral of the story kids? A crapper at the office can be hazardous work!

Passive-Agressive

Not too much to report at the moment.
But I leave you with my favorite website of the week.. for anyone who's ever bore witness to passive aggressive notes(and who hasn't?), you'll love this...

My California Coast

I missed the Bay to Breakers this year. But I made up for it with a great weekend up the California Coast. For all the times I curse the lack of street parking, my garden vandals, and the high cost of living... I have a weekend like this and I am reminded again why Northern California is one of the most amazing places to live.

The Mar Vista Cottages are a gem, be sure to tell Renata and Tom that Rowdeezy sent you!

I've worked my way through a pastry or two. Believe me, Franny's Cup & Saucer in Point Arena, California(pop. 474) is on par with the best of ANY big city bakery. We had a delightful time spent just drooling over everything in the shop.
Can you smell the buttery goodness??
D even got me out of bed and in the car with minimal complaints so we could catch Bowling Ball Beach at lowtide.
And how could we talk about the coast without a lighthouse? The tallest one on the West Coast in fact. What can I say? Size matters...
And seafood. I haven't even mentioned the seafood yet!


And on our last night, as though to tuck us in, the Crescent Moon made an appearance with Venus.
Goodnight California Moon!!

Dress Code

I never seem to be wearing the right thing.
Beginning in High School, I always seemed to be getting in trouble for wearing the wrong thing.
You see, I spent 21/2 years in private Catholic School. And yes, this involved white button up shirts, standard regulation navy skirts, standard regulation navy cardigans, and even standard regulation sweater vests.

But the cardigans were of some bulky acrylic blend (it was the 80's, synthetic fibers were not what they are today.) that had no shape and fitted poorly. Actually, I'm wrong. They actually were of some weird square shape; but they still fitted poorly. I much preferred my vintage navy blue argyle sweater. It was warmer and it gave me just the right oldey timey studious look. But Sister Mary Annetta begged to differ. So did Dean Whats-Her-Face. I always did an about face in the halls once I saw Dean WHF. On some days it was like the gunfight at the OK Corral, a showdown between Good and Evil. Sometimes Evil prevailed and I got my share of demerits.

One Christmas in the early 90's I earned some extra Christmas money working at JcPenney's for the Holidays. If there were ever a 9th Circle of Hell, well, I would rank this the 8th. JcP, and my Manager Mary Falwell, in particular, was a stickler for dress code. She had a real problem when I wore pants that were not part of a 2pc suit. I'm sure she was also pretty peeved that my pants weren't polyester but I don't believe that was actually stated in the employee handbook. So for two months I spent a lot of time avoiding Mgr Falwell each time I saw her in the employee lunchroom. Lucky for me, no demerits.

My place of work decided to reinforce a "luxury" look last year. Basically insinuating that we all dress like shmoes. I know I'm usually pretty fabulous so it wasn't an issue. But today I wore my lavender corduroys to work. They're soft, with sandblasted whiskers, and boot cut. Not wool slacks, but they're fashionable and as long as they're not denim, I'm in the clear. It was cold. I knew it would be a long 10 hour day and I needed my comfy pants. Unfortunately I bumped into the Executvive Assistant that I like to call Sargeant Fox. You know the type, drunk with power. Well she likes to take issue with these pants everytime I wear them.
"Deezy, are those jeans??"
"No Sargeant. They're corduroys. We go through this everytime I wear these!"
"MMm.... girl! You are really pushin' it."
This said the woman who was one step away from wearing sweats today..........

Conan in the City

Have any of you been able to catch Conan O'Brien's week in San Francisco? Never wanting to miss anything cool portraying My Beloved City, I've been recording it this week. He's been so brilliant and hilarous that I am thoroughly bitter that neither my sister nor I were able to get tickets to the tapings.

What's been a great delight I think to all the local viewers is how he is incorporating authentic, local details for his jokes. I think anyone outside the City would appreciate the gags but there's enough inside jokes to prevent his show from being too cheesy.

The Transgender Transamerica Pyramid
One of his producers quizzing guest George Lucas on Star Wars trivia.
Casting Sam Wo restaurant as his co-sponsor alongside Intel.
"San Francisco, the only city in America where marijuana is legal but plastic bags are not."
Knocking on the Full House door to find Bob Saget still living there.
"The city's #1 theatre, in the #22 neighborhood." <- This one was a laugh out loud joke for me...


So here's to you Conan. For letting the rest of the country in on how fantastic this city is..... But I'll never really forgive you for not sending me tickets....

Nature Recap

Call it good wallet karma, call it the donation I made to One.org, but a good samitarian called to return my lost wallet today. It was found on the streets of Chinatown.. long story. All was intact, even the $60 cash. Thank you Mrs. Ng!!!!

... In the meantime, I have yet to share our day at Palo Marin. I guess D put it best when he recapped it as follows:
Baby seals, rare birds, cobblestones, beautiful waves, waterfalls, driftwood, abalone shells, anenomes, barnacles, reefs, sandstone, landslides, flotsam, sea urchin shells, skeletons, swimming, engineering, picnic, cliffs, slaked shale.

Funny, he left out a skinny dip (solo!), and a Seal Pup playing grabass. You can check out the pics via the Flickr Badge to the right.

And here's my first foray into video blogging(pardon the rotation thing...)... What better way than to bring the cute??




And now let me introduce to you, The King of the Mountain in his element

A Dialing Tip

A very full weekend.. It lead with me losing my wallet Friday night.. but all in all, it was actually a fantastic weekend. More on that later..

But for now, my Monday morning consists of calling the credit card companies and the bank to replace my cards. .. American Express has a convoluted Automated Response System and I kept having to repeat myself to check any suspicious activity. And there is no "option" to speak to a customer service rep to request a new card. I kept pounding the "0" key only to hear "I'm sorry. I don't seem to understand what you've said.".... GGAAAA... After the 3rd time, I yelled out "You F*cking B^tch!!!"... "One moment please. A customer service will be right with you."

I now have a new AMEX card arriving tomorrow by 5pm.
So you heard it here first folks. The quickest way to speak to a human at Amex....

It's Not So Easy Being Green...

So Earth Day has come and on. And I would say that it felt like the most momentous Earth Day in memory. Not that I personally participated in any big Eco Events. I worked on the plants on my deck, bought a succulent(30% off!), took Sake for walkies and watched a bit of the Planet Earth marathon on the Discovery Channel. And if you haven't seen his program, get thee to an HD TV quick! It's an amazingly filmed series, but watching it on HD takes it to a mind-blowing level.

All of this Green Talk recently I think spurs great dialogue about how we use resources we take for granted. You may still feel Global Warming is Gore's way of getting back at Bush, but ultimately we shouldn't be sucking up Mother Earth's resources just because we have the technology to do so. Oh, but its so easy to do isn't it? I mean, have you checked your Carbon Footprint lately?? My god, how many trees do I have to plant to make up for all the times I've driven to gym on a Saturday morning instead of taking the Muni??
... And what about the ONE compact florescent bulb I bought that still sits in the cupboard?
.........And I KNOW I don't unplug the toaster when I'm done with breakfast.
... And no, I never bring my own organic cotton sacks while doing my weekly shopping at Trader Joe's.
.... And I can barely afford organic carrots let alone organic clothing!

Its enough to lead me to just throw my newspapers in the trash, and buy a SUV! But before I did anything rash, I came across this great organization(courtesy of Oprah, of course.). For 10 cents a day, Greendimes.com will help rid you of unwanted junk mail and save all that paper. And, they'll even plant a tree for you! Finally, someone who's made it easy. So go..

Go forth and be GREEEENNNN!!!!

Be Well, Be Strong Virginia Tech

We are ALL reeling...

I know, guns don't kill people. People kill people.
But let me leave you with this:

Guns like the gunman's 9mm semi-automatic handgun and a 22-caliber pistol are easy to come by in gun shops across the country, but particularly in the Virginia Commonwealth where there is:

No gun registration
No mandatory wait period
No ban on assault weapons.
No ban on high capacity clips
The only restriction is one firearm per month.

Reactionary? Sure. Strawman logic? Maybe.
But right now it's the only thing I have to wrap my head around......

A Hallmark Moment

I had the joy of having my sister and her two children over on Saturday afternoon. It's not exactly Toys R Us, but I do have a small amount of toys tucked away just for my 4-year-old nephew to while away the afternoon. His eyes indeed lit up when I brought out the Big Box of 96 count Crayola Crayons.

Nephew: "WOW!!! Sixty-Nine!!!!"
Rowdeezy: (chuckling) "My love, that's Ninety-Six. See? The 9 is before the 6. Ninety-six."
Nephew: "Ohh. Ninety-six. I LOVE NINETY SIX!"
Rowdeezy: "Well, ..you may grow up to love Sixty-Nine one day too....."
Sister: (Spittake in the kitchen)

American Idol

I had never wondered until today if a writer, American or otherwise, has helped to shape me, shape part of who I am today. But when I heard the news of Kurt Vonnegut's passing, I realize that dear Kurt was my American Idol.

Don't get me wrong, I was never a #1 fan. I've never read Cat's Cradle. I barely got through Slaughterhouse-Five. But at the tender, impressionable age of 16, I was entranced by the Beat Writers of the 60's and their thumbs up at the writing establishment. (I went to high school in Berkeley, sue me.) Richard Brautigan, Ferlinghetti, Vonnegut. They were all anti-establishment without reeking of the typical Hippy Dippy Acid Tripping stereotype that San Francisco is known for. These guys were sharp, funny, satirical, brooding, depressed, suicidal. What more could a 16-year-old ask for??? I remember quite distinctly my very first term paper was about Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast of Champions and God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater. So while others toiled away on the symbolism of East of Eden or the heady nature of To Kill a Mockingbird; I sat and chuckled at beaver jokes and protagonists who suffered from Echolalia. His apocolyptic humor always struck a note of kinship within me.

I often pretend around these parts that I feel at ease with writing. Any writer could tell you that "ease" is rarely ever the case. It took Vonnegut 22 years to write his classic Slaughterhouse-Five, the Great American Novel. So thank you, Kurt, for helping me to be at ease with my own writing. Thank you for lighting my way through the treacherous years of teendom. Thank you for showing there is more than what is spoon-fed to me. Thank you for showing me writing doesn't always have to "come naturally" or be "serious" to be good, no, great, NO, brilliant.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
1922 — 2007

(image courtesy of www.vonnegut.com)

Faking It

I can be passionate about a good many things in life. In turn, there are a good many things in life I'm not so passionate about. Yin/Yang and all that.

And faking that passion for the sake of others has never been my forte. Even when it means my very own survival. .. Next week, I have an appointment to feign my desire and commitment to something that I actually want very little to do with. But I do have a mortgage and a car payment to think of, so let the playacting begin.

Any helpful hints?

My Lovely Lady Hump Day

Had a meeting at the W Hotel at 10 o'clock this morning. We've launched our website in China .. and of course, bugles must be played and confetti thrown. .. On the way back however, a bird crapped on my cordoroy trenchcoat. WTF?? Tidestick to the rescue. "Its good luck!" I keep telling myself, not really believing it.

At 12:30 I wandered over to the neighborhood bookstore for a reading with an author. Something about the "UNrunner's Guide to Running a Marathon". Well, I waited 20 minutes and the Bitch never showed up. .. I was seriously considering a purchase, but now I'm too indignant to do so.

.... Just 10 minutes ago, I bumped into the President of Merchandising on the hall (My boss' boss' boss.). As I turned around to exit my VPs office, he came in. Caught off guard, all I could manage was a squeaky (albeit friendly and chipper) "Hiyyeeee!" ...

........... When will Friday get here?

San Francisco Spring

Aahh, a San Francisco Spring Day. Meaning, bitter cold and fog. But whenever the weather gets me down, I can always count on Sake to help me appreciate the beauty of My Beloved San Francisco..

Warning: Objects in Picture are larger than they appear.

The hills are aliiiivee.. with the sound of muuusic..!

Tuesday Scattergories

Not so great day at work yesterday. One of my vendor's aggravated me to such a degree that I had to end my email with..."Help me to help you Margaret". ha! Can't say I've done that before!

Hopefully I won't see need to ever do it again...
==================================================================
To ensure I properly purge some of my work tension, I went to the gym during lunchhour today. The running machines were pretty full and I ended up next to a guy who was going full boar and making a quite a racket.
*clank*
*clank*
*clank*
*clank*

I just assumed that he had a faulty machine and didn't want to lose momentum by moving. So I just dealt with it. But after about 5 minutes I was really getting annoyed! Even giving him the mental Stink Eye.

Seven and half minutes into my run, I realized what was making the noise. This guy had a prosthetic leg. No, not a leg. A thingamajiggy, a la Sarah Reinertsen from Amazing Race. Each time his right "foot" came down, it clanged up against the front of the treadmill.

I felt like as ass. Here this guy was going 9mph.. 6.5 minute mile (yeah I looked! Wouldn't you??) , BOOKING. It inspired me to take it up a notch too. After all, I thought, I have 2 legs! I shouldn't complain!

Yeah... that lasted for about another 2 minutes. He was back to Annoying Status soon thereafter...

Cheers to You Springtime!

Is it bad to admit that Spring always makes me want to get liquored up?
Not in a let-me-crawl-to-the-porcelein-god-and-pass-out kind of way... It's more a celebratory feeling. I want to bask in the sun and celebrate the departure of Old Man Winter. I know, I live in San Francisco. It was 80 degrees here last week; what do I know of Old Man Winter?

It's all relative my Loverlies. I am a delicate creature that doesn't fare well in anything below 56 degrees. And besides, the fog here can depress anyone. So when the sun comes beaming again, and the daffodils bloom, all I want to do is throw on my wife-beater, put on some bronzer, and celebrate!

Sangria, champagne, chilled chardonnay, lychee martini's, Jade cocktails, don't they all sound so refreshing?? I know, you must think me a complete lush to somehow equate Spring with cocktails... but they taste delicious on a warm spring day, and they make me happy and excited about the days to come. What can be wrong with that??

It

Have not felt much in the "blogging" mood lately. How do daily columnists do it?? Of course, I suppose, if you're a daily columnist/blogger-type, you may not have a pesky 9-to-5 to worry about too. Thereby freeing up brainspace for other pursuits.

These days I find my brain floating off to visions of lipsticks and face powders, and not in a good way. Last night I dreamt that I- oh never mind. It's not worth mentioning and see? There you have it. Nothing blog-worthy. Indeed I could bore you all with my Ode to the Junior Mint®... but where's the fun in that?
Some of you may be asking right about now, "but surely Dahling, there's lots happening in your life right now to blog about". .. Perhaps... Part of it is finding the mental fortitude to compile it cohesively for you, my dear reader; and in a manner that lives up to both your standards and mine.

So perhaps then, we've really come to the core of the issue. My mental fortitude. Google "mental fortitude" and you'll find it associated with sports quite often. (Spot on as I found out when I ran my first 1/2 Marathon, I realized I had not built up my mental fortitude at all!) "That strength or firmness of mind which enables a person to encounter danger with coolness and courage, or to bear pain or adversity without murmuring, depression, or despondency; passive courage; resolute endurance; firmness in confronting or bearing up against danger or enduring trouble." (From selfknowledge.com)

Face adversity without murmuring, depression, or despondency.
Encounter danger with coolness and courage.
How very 007!

But so far, not very 2007 I'm afraid. Where has my mental fortitude gone? Did I cough It up along with half my lung last month? Did I ever have It to begin with?....... And now that I know It's missing, how do I find It?.. They say you can find anything on eBay; maybe It's there..? .. If any of you see It, be a dear and bring it by....

Ta DAAAAA!!!!!

I've let work keep me away... but now that things are winding down I can finally share some awesome news...

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I please introduce to you... Reese Jayden! Yep, all 7lbs, 10oz of her.


I cannot wait to spoil this little niece of mine!


Aaahhh... finally, someone who I can entrust my Hello Kitty collection with!

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To

Yep. It was my birthday. Thanks everyone for all your thoughtful birthday wishes! It is most wonderful to hear from all of you, birthday or not!

The work front has been stressful and invariably frustrating. All of which is leading up to a fair amount of bitterness and distrust. Which in turn is having an effect on my physical health.

On Monday, I came down with a fever and severe chills and had to go home and sleep for 13 hours. Though I still don't feel too hot to trot, I made it into work on my birthday(I'm getting my Hello Kitty Birthday card and pastry goddamnit!) and I at least look hot to trot.

I'm swamped with work and trying to get back into good health. As if a sign from the gods, Daily Candy sent me info on an ayurveda clinic today. At this point, I'll try anything...

I will leave you with some pics from my healthy Saturday night.... ..

You can see them all here at flickr.






Double chin and red eye; but at least my makeup and nails look good!





Never let a guy have control of the camera!

Keeping Score

DING DING DING! For those of you keeping score at home...

Bai Ling has scored her first official Bitch Slap this year!!

Why does she have to ruin everything????
And how does she get 4 guest episodes on a show like "Lost" looking like a whore??? Excuse me, TRANNY whore.
Does she have it written into her contract or something???

What she looks like here is pretty much what she looked like in her first scene. And that scene was on a beach!!! WTF?????

Ashes to Ashes ... Dust to Dust

I went to a funeral last month.
She was 20.
We were all a wreck.
It was open casket.
I felt creeped out.
I assume though, that at the age of 20, your own funeral arrangements are not on the top of your list of things to do(unless maybe if you're Marilyn Manson). But I wondered if this is what she would've wanted. And I found myself wondering what I wanted for myself.

In some ways, funerals are like weddings. You would initially thinks that its about you, "the star" of the show; but its also about the your community and family coming together to hold witness, celebrate, mourn. .. But does the sight of a made-up corpse lying "peacefully" in a plumped casket help people to say good bye?

Ultimately my wish is to be cremated, ashes spread out into the Bay of My Beloved City( I don't think the La Prairie at Neiman Marcus would appreciate my ashes). Will people get the closure they need at the viewing of an urn? Granted, I would also want a kickass wake where people just get drink and celebrate.
I would wish my loved ones closure, but here I am worrying about others, even in my death. But like I said, its never just about you...

Corporate Speak

A co-worker is on the phone, talking loud, and she's used the word "absolutely" about 5 or 6 times.
Admittedly, I went through my phase... but I am finding out some people use the word "absolutely!" far too much. It's nauseating. It's so trite, and pat, and disingenuous. I slap myself whenever it slips out of my mouth now.

Other words I've heard around the office that I find equally as nauseating:
"Connectivity"
"Efficencies" <- Personally, I don't think this is a word; which makes it doubly nauseating.
"Take-away"
"Learnings"

Stop disguising stupid ideas with modified words! Only our President gets away with such "truthiness"!

As the Saying Goes...

Happy Fucking Valentine's Day


May you love, and above all, be lovely...

WOOF!!

Every February there are two things I count on and look forward to.
a) My birthday. b) The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.
(I can't count the Oscars as the ceremony date can be so flighty!)
You all know I love the doggies; I am always tuned in to see the goings on of these lovely canines. Last year, I made D Valentine's Day dinner and then we curled up to watch Best in Show.

And tonight, the 131st Westminster Best in Show competition begins at Madison Square Garden! (By Jove! What DOESN'T happen here??)

I always "oooh and aaah" and squeal at the sight of terriers scurrying in.


Every year I make the same joke when the Irish Wolfhound shows up.
"Wow! I could ride him/her to work!"



Look at last year's winner, Rufus!! I actually picked him to win. He's irresistable!!



But of course, every year, I always think the West Highland Terrier should be Best in Show!

All Hail...

... Justin's D!ck in a Box at Madison Square Garden


Just click in the area below.. it should play.....

Relapse - Doodle

I am sick. .... And I'm tired. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!
So far, I have spent the majority of 2007 being sick.

Two days of allergies drove me bonkers; so I went to the gym Tuesday night because I was feeling cow-ish. Unfortunately, while waiting for the bus afterwards, I managed to catch a cold.

Yep, I have relapsed. I took Thursday off work, and slept for 15 hours straight.
... Unfortunately last night I hardly got any sleep because I kept waking up to pee from all the liquids I kept drinking.
My lemon water concoction is v. yummy by the way...

Note: Lemon Water Concoction = Hot water, fresh slices of lemon, honey, and a pinch of cayenne pepper. Soothing, addictive, and the cayenne gives it a little kick. If I am back to good healthy by March, I am going to attempt the Apple Detox... who's in?
I've got to power through.. I've got a date with my nephew tonight. I'm taking him to Doodlebops!

Edit: Yep, it's RJ's 4th Birthday and I'm taking him to see these crazy neoprene creatures.
(Left to right: Moe Doodle! DeeDee Doodle! and Rooney Doodle!)
I think Moe is his favorite.
The show starts at 6:30pm.. so we'll probably rage until 8:30, and then I'm taking him to local favorite, Fenton's Ice Creamery.